


Lotus in the Dust

by JustAboutMidnight



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Ba Sing Se, Eventual Smut, F/M, First Dates, Rare Pairings, Young Love, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-30
Updated: 2019-11-05
Packaged: 2020-11-16 14:02:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 35,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20833919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustAboutMidnight/pseuds/JustAboutMidnight
Summary: Zuko and Jin meet by chance in Ba Sing Se and have one date that ALMOST ends magically — but what will happen when he comes looking for her after the war ends as the newly-crowned Firelord?





	1. Silver and Gold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited version posted 6/30/20

I couldn’t have known that one cup of tea would change my entire life, but I’ve come to realize that sometimes the smallest things hold the greatest weight. I’ve been lucky in my life— fortune has always smiled on me when it counted. The thing about fortune is that you have to keep an open heart, and you have to keep faith. My mother always told me that the spirits can sense when we’re at a crossroads, and if they’re feeling generous, they might guide us in the right direction. My father always told me that if I trusted my instincts, they would lead me to happiness. The years have passed, and I still wonder whether it was a spirit, an instinct, or sheer coincidence that day; either way , I will always remember that wonderful things can come from unexpected places— and sometimes all you need is a cup of tea to change your life.

It was early evening, the end of a warm spring day. The hours at the market with my mother and father had dragged by, full of sweaty haggling, and I was relieved to be out from under the tent. I could still, just barely, remember what our first home had been like— a now-distant square of farmland and forest— but that had been years ago. Ba Sing Se was the only home I really knew. I loved the city. I was grateful for its walls and its safety, and for the chance to lead a normal life when it seemed impossible anywhere else.

At the same time, though, things could have been better. We were one refugee family in a sea of thousands, and we barely scraped by selling melons and cloth. That day had been particularly bad— no one wanted extra clothes in the heat, and my father’s fish had sat untouched on their ice all day, until they were practically underwater again. It was the morning’s catch, and I knew we’d have to work late into the night again, salting and drying it so it wouldn’t go to waste.

Mercifully, my parents set me loose when the working day ended, reassuring me they could handle it themselves. Guilt and the itch for freedom went to war inside of me. Freedom won.

“_Finally_, an evening off!” Takan laughed, clapping me on the back. “We’re going to go to the Seven Lillies. Want to come?”

I looked at him gratefully. The Seven Lillies was a pub in the Lower Ring, and, at fifteen, I wasn’t strictly old enough to go— but Takan, Moka, and Yu were practically young adults. They took care of me and included me whenever they could. Life in those days would’ve been painfully lonely without them.

“Thanks, Takan. But you know we’d be out all night, and I’d better get home sooner rather than later,” I lied. “There’s a mountain of fish we didn’t sell today that needs to be stored.”

His face fell and guilt panged through me, but I brushed it aside. It wasn’t a _total_ lie, after all, and the day had worn me out from talking. 

“That’s okay, Jin,” Yu said, glancing at Takan with her sharp green eyes. “No worries. Maybe next time?”

“Next time,” I agreed, smiling at the three hopeful faces in front of me. It was actually pretty amazing — here we all were, from different places and different lives, together by chance but friends by choice. I gave them each a hug in turn.

“See you all tomorrow.”

“‘Bye!” Moka called as they headed down the street. “Good luck with the fish!”

“Be safe tonight, you three!”

“Maybe!” Takan yelled back, and I laughed, watching him wave as they turned the corner. Finally, the crowd of people swallowed them up, and they were gone.

I allowed the grin to drop off my face, and sighed. Maybe I _should_ just go home after all. It would be the right thing to do.

I turned in that direction, seeking peace and quiet. I was still near the recently-closed market, and the street was thick with people, crowding the space around me and making me feel claustrophobic. I put my head down, trained my eyes on my feet, and allowed my legs to carry me over the cobblestones until the crowd had thinned and I could breathe again. In my head, I made tallies— how much time I’d spent weaving yesterday, how many yards of fabric I’d sold today, how much time I’d have to spend tomorrow if I was going to break even on the thread. Sometimes it seemed like life was just one long, endless tally of hoping to break even.

Lost in my own thoughts, I didn’t realize how close to home I’d gotten until I reached the crossroads in front of our street. I stared down the road, thinking of what awaited me if I followed it straight ahead. My parents, the salt jar, the drying rack, a roaring fire... I wrinkled my nose. After baking out in the hot sun all day, spending the night baking in front of a hot fire did _not_ sound like fun. Turning, I looked out over the miles to the great wall of the city. The sun was sitting just above the battlements, throwing its orange rays across every rooftop, baking every stone in the street with glowing light. Surely my parents would be alright for a couple of hours…?

I shifted my gaze to the right, away from home and up the many walkways and steps that led to the higher part of the Lower Ring. I could walk by myself for a while, mull over the day… stretch my legs and recover before it was time to go back to work… 

In a split second I made my decision, and ducked into the alley shortcut. The fire could wait.

\- - -

The higher I went, the more winding and intricate the streets became, and for the second time that day I was fervently grateful for my friends. Yu, unlike the rest of us, was a Ba Sing Se native, and had taught Takan, Moka, and me all she knew about the geography of the city. After seven years, I knew my way around the crowded blocks of the Lower Ring tolerably well. The Middle Ring and Upper Ring, however, remained mysteries. Ba Sing Se had its pride— the higher rings were no place for a girl like me.

That night, though, I couldn’t have cared less. I walked through the streets until the muscles of my legs twinged, a wonderful pain after standing still all day. Even the sweat slipping down my back felt good — the air was still warm despite the falling dusk, and I was glad for it. Our drafty house didn’t cope with the cold very well.

For now, though, I put our patchy roof and my tally marks out of my mind, and found myself happy just to wander around. It felt good to set down the weight of the day, the weight of trying to survive. Right now, I wasn’t Jin, Earth Kingdom refugee and Lower Ring merchant brat. Right now, alone with myself, I was just Jin. That was enough.

When the sun dropped below the horizon, sending the wall’s long shadow over the city, I knew I would need to head home soon. Reluctant to turn around, I instead sat down on the low fence and stared out over the mountains. They were tangerine-colored in the sunset, like the great spiked spine of a dragon, and cut the light in violet and gold angles. I was still.

When a warm breeze swept through the street, creaking and swinging the wooden sign above me, I glanced up. It was weathered and faded in places, but the characters were still easily readable: a tea house. _Tea_. I swallowed, my dry tongue and throat protesting. I hadn’t had a drink since I’d left the marketplace. And, admittedly, the idea of sitting down in a cool tea house and being served, for once, instead of serving, had its appeal... I checked my sash, already knowing how little I would find there, but my feet were carrying me towards the door anyway. My thirst won out, and I ducked inside.

I had been right. The air was cool and dry, and filled with the comfortable clink of china. The interior was dim and sort of shabby, but the floor was clean and the tea smelled wonderful, and that was good enough for me. I approached the counter slowly, rubbing a copper piece between my fingers, waiting for my eyes to adjust.

A few employees were working around the shop— one was clearing tables, another was wiping down chairs, and a third behind the counter had his back to me, fumbling with matches as he lit the fire. I took the opportunity to scan the menu. Nothing fancy, but they had silver needle, and I hadn’t had that in years… 

Decided, I lowered my eyes back to the register, and blinked. Hard.

The man trying to light the fire had turned around, and whatever I’d been expecting, it wasn’t… this. My stomach twitched. He was young — he couldn’t have been much older than me — and he was handsome, handsome enough that I could feel my tongue getting heavy. Black hair, high cheekbones, guarded expression, and his eyes… bright gold, but one of them— one of them was reduced to a slit in the center of a huge dark burn scar, stretching from his temple to the middle of his cheek. 

“Hello,” he said carefully, setting down the matches on top of the register. “What can I get for you?”

I tried to arrange my features into a neutral expression. Strangers must’ve gawked at that scar all the time, and I didn’t want him to think it was the reason _I_ was staring. 

“Hi,” I replied, actually relieved that he wasn’t meeting my eyes. “Could I please get a cup of the silver needle?”

He nodded mutely and made a note of it on the register. “That’ll be three copper pieces.”

I counted them out of my sash and dropped them into his hand. When my fingertips brushed his, I was in for another surprise — he was warm. Not just average, human-body warm, but _very_warm, so warm that I could feel the heat coming off his skin even before our hands touched. He didn’t _look_ feverish, but he certainly did jerk back more quickly than was necessary.

“I’ll bring it out to you when it’s ready,” he muttered, and turned on his heel, disappearing into the back.

I stared after him for a heartbeat or two, still thinking about those rare golden eyes. _Strange._

I turned slowly and made my way towards a table, wondering who he was and how he possibly could have gotten that scar. It was obviously a burn, but it couldn’t have been caused by any old household accident. I shook back my sleeve and examined, for the millionth time, the mottled skin on my forearm. Seven years ago, I’d tripped and fallen onto our coal oven; and, though the burn was terribly painful and slow to heal at the time, you could barely even see the scar now. _This_, whatever kind of accident _he_ had been a part of… 

I shivered. It must have been _terrible_, to leave behind such angry red colors and tough skin. It was clear the scar was fully healed, but whatever had happened to him had been so bad that he would never have an eyebrow on that side, or be able to open that beautiful eye all the way again. 

And maybe… maybe it _hadn’t_ been an accident. I pushed my sleeve back down. The Fire Nation had shown that it was not above attacking women and children. The Lower Ring was packed to the brim with refugees. Had his life been uprooted, just like mine?

“Here you go.”

I was startled out of my thoughts as he placed a steaming cup in front of me. His face was slightly turned away, his lips a compressed line, almost like he was afraid I’d start asking questions he didn’t want to answer. Instead, I gathered my winning attitude and smiled at him.

“Thank you very much.”

He nodded, and without so much as a backwards glance, strode back behind the counter. One of the other employees, a gray-bearded man, was waiting for him. As I watched, he muttered something to my server, who gave a great start and drew back, eyes wide and indignant. The older man roared with laughter, while the younger stomped off into the back again. I couldn’t help but grin.

The tea was perfect, and definitely worth more than three coppers. I sipped it, watching the shadows grow longer and longer outside the window, still thinking about the boy who’d served me. He hadn’t come back out, but it didn’t matter — one look at his face had been enough for me to remember it. It wasn’t just that he was handsome. There’d been something else, too, something different in the way he carried himself. I’d felt tense energy that reminded me of a coiled spring, like he was measuring out every movement he made. He was aware of himself — and that had made me very aware of him, too.

“Enjoying your silver needle, miss?”

I looked over. This time it was the gray-haired man who’d approached me, hands clasped over his belly, eyes twinkling down at me.

“It’s excellent,” I smiled, wrapping my hands around the cup. “Whoever made this could be charging a lot more for their work.”

The old man smiled back, bowing. “I appreciate the compliment, young lady.”

“You made this?” I took another sip, impressed. “Thank you.”

He inclined his head, the corners of his eyes crinkling. “Would you mind if I sat with you for a few moments? The evening is drawing to a close, and I’m afraid my young coworker is not the most agreeable company at the moment.”

My eyes drifted over to where my server had emerged. He was now clearing tables, a definite crease between his eyes. “Of course, please.”

He sat, making himself comfortable across from me, and placed a fist against his open palm. “I am Mo-Shi, and that ornery young man there is my nephew.”

_So they were related!_ I returned the gesture, tilting my head. “Pleased to meet you, Mo-Shi. I’m Jin.”

“What brings you to the Pao tea house tonight, Miss Jin?”

I took another gulp of my tea before answering. “I just stumbled on it, really. I work in the market during the day, so evening is the time I get for myself.”

“A hard-working young woman! Awfully warm out there today, wasn’t it?”

“Very,” I agreed. “And I’ll be going home to sit in the heat some more — there’s fish that needs drying.”

“Hmm… yes,” he mused, and laid his hands flat on the table. “Not the most pleasant task, sitting in front of the fire.”

“It’s alright,” I reassured him. “I’m used to it. It’s a necessary evil.”

“I suppose we are all used to living with fire these days. It _is_ necessary, though — that tea of yours was made over an open flame. So, for that reason, I am grateful for it.”

“So am I,” I smiled, and drained my cup. “It was delicious.”

He inclined his head again, looking pleased. I glanced out the window. It was twilight — time to be getting back to my parents.

“Thank you for the tea and the company. I think it’s time I head home.”

He stood politely and walked me to the door, and it was all I could do not to turn and gawk around for one last look at his nephew. I resisted the urge. Instead, I focused on Mo-Shi, who waved to me as I stepped into the street. 

“Go safely, Miss Jin. May your fire burn low and steady tonight.”

\- - -

In the following days, the scarred boy drifted into my head more often than I’d have liked to admit. Embarrassingly, even my friends noticed— they teased me about having my head in the clouds, and how was I supposed to deny it? It was stupid, really—he had barely even looked at me— but I wanted to go back, even if it was just to look at him again.

And go back I did, four days after my first visit, and then every other night for two weeks. I couldn’t explain it even to myself. How could I be so fixated on someone I didn’t even know? More importantly, how could I like someone so prickly? I had a sense, though, that the prickliness might only be skin-deep, and I wanted to find out for myself. I tried to observe what I could about him, but there wasn’t much to learn. He did seem remarkably unskilled at sweeping and using matches, but maybe he’d been a stableboy or something. Who knew?

I was spending my sparse pocket money more rapidly than I ever had, but I considered it an investment, and Mo-Shi’s tea was certainly nothing to complain about. I was sure his nephew didn’t even realize I existed— he always seemed so wrapped up in his own thoughts— but I was going to change that.

One day, I decided I wasn’t going to wait any longer. I spent a little more time than I normally would have in front of the mirror, twisting my hair into braids and chewing some mint leaves. A little preparation never hurt anybody, right?

It was worth it: my target served me that afternoon. He was as reserved as ever, but it didn’t matter to me— I was just happy to see him again, even if he was only muttering at me to enjoy my silver needle. It’d become my favorite, and now every time I came through the door, Mo-Shi had a pot ready just for me. He seemed determined to keep me around. Maybe he’d noticed the moony-eyed stares I was giving his nephew and thought some matchmaking was in order— whatever it was, I wasn’t complaining.

When I finished my tea, I took a moment to rally my confidence, and then stood with my cup. Watching the counter, I plucked three copper pieces from my sash: Mo-Shi and his nephew were talking, the old man smiling and the young one looking tense. I bit back a grin. This was already a familiar sight.

“Thank you for the tea.”

They both turned, and Mo-Shi gave me a smile. His nephew held out his hand wordlessly, and, just like every time he served me, I could feel the heat coming off his fingers before I even dropped the coins into them. He turned his back to me, putting my money on the table, but I wasn’t going to let him go so easily.

“What’s your name?”

He turned back, and, for the first time since I’d seen him, he looked something other than brooding and discontent. He looked _nervous._

“My name’s Lee. My uncle and I just moved here.”

He was cute when his eyes went wide like that. It made him look a lot less intimidating. I wrangled the butterflies in my stomach and forged ahead.

“Hi Lee, my name's Jin. Thank you and… well, I was wondering if you would like to go out sometime.”

His eyes went even wider, and before he could say a word, Mo-Shi beamed at me.

“He’d love to!”

Happiness exploded inside me. I didn’t even care that Lee hadn’t been the one to answer. “Great! I’ll meet you outside the shop at sundown.”

And with that, feeling lighter than I had in weeks, I walked straight out of the teashop and into the street. The sun was still high in the sky — I had time. Smiling so hard my face hurt, I set off for home at a run. I had some weaving to finish before my _date!_

\- - -

“Woah,” Takan’s eyes widened. “You look nice.”

I grinned. “How’s my hair? Think I should take it back down?”

“Uh, no,” he cleared his throat. “No, I think it looks really nice the way it is.”

“Thanks,” I beamed, and smoothed the cloth I’d finished, counting creases in my head.

Takan, whose father was the local baker, had come by to drop off my family’s bread for the week just as I’d finished putting my hair up. He seemed kind of tongue-tied at the sight of me, which I was trying to cheerfully ignore.

“Thanks for bringing the bread. Would you mind putting it in the kitchen?”

“Sure.” With one last glance at me, he ducked out of the room. 

I tucked the last bit of fabric into my basket and closed the lid, feeling nervous and excited. I’d been keeping my fingers crossed for a date ever since Lee first turned around in the tea shop, and now my investment was about to pay off. Maybe he’d be less serious outside of work, and I’d be able to make him smile. Or even laugh.

The walk to Pao’s felt longer than it ever had. I could hardly keep from bouncing with anticipation, and Takan, who’d insisted on walking with me, kept giving me sideways glances. The higher we climbed, the more distracted I got and the more he looked at me. Finally, he sighed.

“Jin, are you okay?”

“Yes,” I said defensively, my thoughts rocketing back to earth. “Why?”

“Nothing,” he said, a bit defensive himself. “You just seem distracted lately. I’m sorry—I’m not trying to pry. I just wanted to check on you, make sure everything’s alright.”

I looked into his face — it was sincere, concerned. My heart softened.

“Yes, Takan, I’m fine. It’s nothing bad.”

“Okay,” he said reluctantly, and turned to look straight ahead. My eyes stayed on him. Earth Kingdom was spelled out in every line. He had green eyes like Yu, and brown hair like me. His build was strong and solid. Dependable. Trustworthy.

“If something was wrong I would tell you,” I reassured him, grabbing his hand. “I tell you and Moka and Yu everything.”

Well… _almost_ everything. 

He squeezed my hand and let it go, looking at my face again. “Well, what about something that’s _not_ wrong? Not bad?”

“What do you mean?” We were very close to the shop now, and I was ready for this conversation to be over. We were drawing close to something I wasn’t sure I was ready to share with him yet.

“Well,” he began slowly, “they think that maybe you’ve met somebody.”

“Oh?” I raised my eyebrows at him. Behind him, the sun had fallen below the ridges of the mountains. It would be time to meet Lee any minute now.

He nodded slowly. “So… have you?”

We’d come to the corner just before the shop, and I stopped. He stopped too. 

“I don’t know yet,” I said finally. “I’ll let you know.” Getting up on my tiptoes, I kissed him on the cheek. “‘Bye, Takan. I have to go. Don’t worry about me.”

And with that, I brushed my hair from my face and slipped around the corner, leaving him in the last dying rays of the day.

\- - -

For all that he seemed reluctant, Lee had put on nice clothes and combed his hair, which I found adorable. He was stiff when we met, but I wasn’t too bothered — I could see in his eyes how nervous he was, and did what I could not to make it worse. If I could get him to relax, then maybe I could get him to open up.

It was by no means the best date I had ever been on, but it was by far the most interesting. I took him to my favorite restaurant in the Lower Ring, and he looked like a fish out of water as we walked through the streets and sat down to eat. If I’d suspected that he wasn’t from the Earth Kingdom before, now I was sure of it. 

I peppered him with questions, trying to find out more about him and his uncle, and he dodged me at every turn. I had to repress giggles at a few of his answers— Lee didn’t belong in a traveling circus any more than I belonged in the Earth King’s court— but I didn’t press him. Instead, I watched him. Everything about him was screaming _out of comfort zone!_ So what _was_ his comfort zone, exactly?

But I was saving an ace in my sleeve, waiting for just the right moment. When we’d finished eating, I leaned forward and smiled.

“Hey, I want to show you one of my favorite places in the city.”

I’d never actually been to the Firelight Fountain with a boy before, but if there was ever a time to bring out the big guns, this was it. It was the most romantic place in the Lower Ring, and his golden eyes would look so nice in the wavering light. True, he hadn’t been a stellar date so far, but he hadn’t been the worst I’d had, either. I was beginning to see where his prickliness bled into his shyness, and I had plenty of patience. I could wait him out.

I grabbed his hand and tugged him out the door, heat from his skin making my fingers tingle. The night air was warm around us, cicadacrickets chirping loudly, and I had to smile as we ran down the street.

“I'm so excited for you to see the Firelight Fountain! The lamps make the water sparkle and reflect in the pool in the most beautiful way.”

He looked unsure, but I was confident. It was a gorgeous spot, and I prepared to check his expression as we rounded the corner. When I saw the plaza, though, my heart sank.

It was dark.

“I can’t believe it! They aren’t lit.”

Why _tonight_, of all nights, did the candles have to be out? _Damn!_ What now? I dropped his hand and turned away, trying hard not to let my disappointment show. There was a brief silence.

“Close your eyes,” came Lee’s voice, much softer than usual. “And don’t peek.”

I looked at him curiously. His face was still serious, but there was a gentleness in his voice I hadn’t heard before. I smiled in spite of myself and covered my eyes. What was he going to do? I half-hoped that he was going to kiss me, but no, I could sense him walking away.

There was a sound like a deep, focused breath, and then, for a moment, he was quiet.

Then the air was filled with a series of quiet, rapid-fire pops. _What on earth was he doing?_ Curiosity burned, but he’d asked me not to look. I reluctantly kept my eyes closed and waited.

I didn’t have to wait long. Less than a minute had passed before his voice came again.

“Okay. Now you can look.”

I think part of me knew what I’d find even before I opened my eyes, but that didn’t make it any less astonishing. I gasped. The lanterns were lit! Hundreds of tiny flames danced over our heads and all around us, flickering in the dark water of the fountain. And to complete a perfect picture, there was Lee, standing in the orange light and _smiling_ at me. Actually smiling! My eyes slid over his face, and everything in me went tender. 

“What happened? How did they light? What did you…?”

He smiled at me silently, still guarded, but happy. I turned to look around my favorite spot, heart thumping in my chest, and something occurred to me— this was the most comfortable I’d ever seen him look. He certainly hadn’t had a pole to light the lanterns at the top. So, was this his comfort zone, then? Fire?

_For good_, was the first thought that went through my head. He’d used his firebending for good. And I wasn’t going to turn him in, was I? Yes— I’d been hurt by the Fire Nation. I didn’t live on that faraway farm anymore. But Lee didn’t live in the Fire Nation anymore, did he? And he hadn’t gotten that scar in the Earth Kingdom… 

I made up my mind. I took his hand, his warmth sending a shiver over my skin, and he turned to me with wide eyes. Before I could move any closer, he held something up between us.

“I’ve brought you something,” he rushed out. “It’s a coupon, for a free cup of tea.”

I smiled and took it from him, placing my fingers over his.

“Lee, this is so sweet.”

He backed away, rubbing the back of his neck. “Don't thank me – it was my uncle's idea. He thinks you're our most valuable customer.”

“Your uncle is a good teacher.”

I was not to be deterred. I stepped closer, putting my hand on his cheek, and he looked at me like he was afraid of what would come next. He really _was_ the same age as me, and, in that moment, he looked it. My fingertips tingled.

“I have something for you, too. Now it’s your turn to close your eyes.”

For a second I doubted he’d obey; but then his eyes were closing. Hardly believing he was letting me do it, I moved against him, said a prayer, and stood on my toes.

His lips were hot under mine, and so soft as I skimmed our lower lips together before pressing forward. He didn’t shift back at all, and it turned the kiss a little harder than I’d meant it to be, swooping heat through my stomach. His smell was clean and fresh and spicy, and strong so close.

I moved back— I hadn’t expected to make it this far, and I didn’t want to scare him off. But when I pulled away, his hand found the back of my waist and, for a brief, heart-jumping moment, he pulled me in closer and pressed his mouth to mine. It was a hard, curious kiss, but the hand burning through the back of my robe was surprisingly gentle. We were absolutely still for a heartbeat.

The next moment, though, he was jumping away. He looked at me for a second, his face conflicted, then turned away.

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s complicated,” he muttered. “I have to go.”

And he walked away, leaving me more confused and hung up than ever.


	2. Someone Else

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I nodded and took a breath. “Well, I, uh… I wanted to ask you about girls. Um, women.” I could feel my face getting flushed, but for once, mercifully, my uncle didn't tease. He simply nodded. "Go on."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Zuko's tsungi horn angst theme plays*
> 
> A wise woman once said to me, "Angst is like salt. Not enough, and it's bland. Too much, and it's ruined." Well, buckle your seat belt, because this is salty one.
> 
> Things will pick up in the next chapter. Thank you for the sweet reviews!
> 
> Edited version posted 9/13/20

“_Finally,_” I muttered, leaning against the wall as the chamber door slid shut behind me. _Alone at last._

After a few deep breaths, I straightened my shoulders and walked across the dark carpet to the bed, shrugging out of my heavy sode as I went. Slowly, carefully, I placed them on the silk coverlet and stood there for a moment, staring down at the mattress. A second later and I was glancing around the room for the hundredth time, wondering if it would ever really feel like home. It was the Firelord’s room— now _my_ room. 

Velvet drapes, marble floors. Aang would’ve immediately gone and slept in the courtyard garden, and, though I’d grown up here, I kind of wanted to do the same thing. Taking another deep breath, I focused on the task at hand. Sode, off. Sangu, off. Ceremonial collar, all three layers of it, off. I continued my breathing and my stripping until I stood in just my pants, every other layer and both of my boots gone. Full Firelord regalia could definitely be gratifying, but right now I needed to be just Zuko.

I examined myself in the mirror. After my time at sea and living rough, I’d filled out in the last few months. I turned, feeling kind of stupid for posing at myself, but the point stood: I wasn’t a skinny, confused thirteen-year-old anymore. I’d grown up, and the thought gave me a funny feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I poked at my forehead, squinting. Frown lines, though very faint, were just visible. I sighed. I was way too young for wrinkles — I would have to learn to scowl less. Putting my hands together, I breathed yet again and focused on relaxing my face and my body. 

I untied my topknot and watched as my hair flopped to freedom, my bangs falling down between my eyes. I shook my head, setting my headpiece on the dressing table and feeling, for the first time in forever, almost at ease. The war was over, my uncle was fine, and Avatar Aang had taken his rightful place. Our team had made it through. The world could finally heal. Everything had turned out as well as I could’ve possibly hoped, and yet…

I felt the pull of the sunset and turned from the table, throwing open the glass-paned doors. The sun was setting over the ocean, lighting up the city in red and gold. Enjoying the cool tile on my bare feet, I padded out to the railing and leaned against it. The hills glowed, their rice paddies neat and green under the dying light. Craggy mountains, far in the distance, reached up towards the sky. And the ocean… it sparkled and danced, reflecting the sunset like a great orange mirror. And there, in that moment, something occurred to me.

_I_ liked orange. I always had.

_“I'm so excited for you to see the Firelight Fountain… the lamps make the water sparkle and reflect in the pool in the most beautiful way.”_

Yes, I decided. I liked orange. And, as I turned away from the railing, I couldn’t help but wonder if somewhere in the Lower Ring of Ba Sing Se, a very pretty merchant girl was liking orange, too.

\- - -

“_Finally_,” I muttered, shutting my bedroom door behind me. _Alone at last_.

I flug myself onto my bed, and sighed so gustily my neighbors probably heard it. Looking down at my robe, I had to admit it was ready for a wash. After an entire day of celebration, it had earned its fair share of wine-splotches and dust.

It was a new day for Ba Sing Se, and for the world — the war was over, the Avatar had returned, and today, a new Firelord had been crowned. I’d heard from the crowd in the Seven Lillies that the new ruler — Zuko, they called him — was Ozai’s son, which sent a shiver down my spine. How could it be that that tyrant’s son was allowed to take the throne? Had we learned nothing about that bloodline in the last hundred years? But from all accounts he was young, with some kind of tragic past that I’d heard only hinted at. For most people, the fact that the Avatar had vouched for him seemed to be enough.

A murky past and the word of one good person wasn’t enough to fully inspire my faith, and with no friends in the Fire Nation, there wasn’t a way to find out more. But today, with Takan and Yu by my side, I had listened as a proclamation from the new Firelord was cried throughout the streets of the Lower Ring. Today, the war was over.

And for today, that was enough. 

Completely spent and admittedly still a little tipsy from the festivities, I crawled under my covers and parted the curtains. It was still early, not yet eight o’ clock, but the noise and excitement of the day had worn me out. And, I thought, wrapping my green robe around me a little tighter, some things just can’t be fixed by a peace treaty. 

I stared out the window, watching the sun throw its last rays over the rooftops of Ba Sing Se. It seemed like a lifetime ago, and yet, like yesterday, that I had been rushing to the Pao tea shop with Takan by my side. I had been wearing this very same thing-- but how different everything was now. 

I buried my face in my pillow, a wave of emotions overtaking me. Relief, grief, confusion, happiness, loneliness.

Moka was missing. As the only earthbender among the four of us, he had put his life on the line and disappeared during the battle for the city. Whether he was a prisoner of the Fire Nation, or, spirits forbid, dead, none of us knew. A few hot tears ran down my cheek and onto my pillow. _Please let him be alive._ I had to believe that it was possible. And, if the new Firelord was worth his salt in morality, he would release prisoners of war as soon as possible. _Please, please._

I had Takan, Yu, and my parents, at least. I was grateful for that, and for all of our friends that had made it through the war unscathed. Today was meant to be a good day, a day of new peace. The world could finally heal. I was much better off than so many, and I knew I ought to be happy. Everything had turned out as well as I could have hoped, and yet…

I stared out over the mountains, my heart beating stubbornly in my chest. The Earth Kingdom glowed in the sunset, the rooftops of the Lower Ring made just as beautiful in the orange light as any palace I could imagine. If I tilted my head just right, the tin shingles looked like lapping water. 

_”Close your eyes. And don’t peek.”_

I obeyed the voice echoing through my mind, closing my eyes against the sky and squeezing them tight until tears dropped steadily onto the sheets. Mo-Shi and Lee were gone, and not a soul I had asked in the last half-year seemed to know who they were or where they had gone. If they really were Fire Nation deserters like I suspected, I hoped with everything I had that they hadn’t been killed for their betrayal. The Fire Nation did not take the loss of honor lightly.

I cried for the people I’d lost, for Moka, for Mo-Shi, and for Lee until I felt my heart might crack right down the middle. When I’d worn myself out I fell into an uneasy sleep, wondering if he was alive, and if those cat’s eyes were watching the same horizon as me.

\- - -

Summer ended quickly, and before I knew it, my first month on the throne had passed. It felt like every day there were more officials to meet, more bills to sign, and more disputes to settle. I didn’t mind doing it — in fact, I relished the chance to be fair, to do things justly.

“Firelord Zuko,” Akazin bowed low, his tasseled advisor’s hat almost brushing his toes. “Good morning, sir. Congratulations on a first month of great progress.”

“Thank you,” I bowed back. “I couldn’t have done half of it without you.”

“Thank you, my lord,” the old man grinned, inclining his head again. “It has been a very long time since we’ve had a Firelord of your… stature.”

“Well, I’m never going to fill out my father’s robes,” I replied, amused with his word choice. “But that’s what the tailor's for.”

“Perhaps not his robes, sir. But, if you’ll forgive me for saying so, you have already filled his boots tenfold.”

_Do not blush, do not blush,_ I told myself sternly. But, of course, I did.

“My young lord is turning red,” Akazin teased. “Perhaps some chamomile tea to stave off any fever? But in the meantime, the rest of the council and I would like to make you aware of an engagement you have tomorrow evening.”

I resisted the urge to put my head in my hands. _Another meeting?_ As eager as I was to repair a hundred years of damage, I would’ve been happy to avoid any more diplomatic hearings for the next month.

“What is it?”

“A birthday party,” he answered, amber eyes twinkling. “For a very _important_ young man.”

“A birthday? But Aang’s birthday isn’t for another two months —” I paused and reddened again. “Oh. You mean me.”

“Of course I do,” my advisor said, respect in his voice but mirth in his eyes. “Seventeen years old! You’ve become a man, and your citizens are eager for a reason to celebrate.”

I tried not to show how awkward I felt, but my hands fidgeted of their own accord. “But… they want to celebrate _me?_”

“Of course, my lord,” Akazin said calmly. “You have given many people hope that they had long ago given up. It’s all been set up already. Your uncle was quite in favor of the idea.”

“Of course he was,” I muttered, going to run my hand through my hair only to stop as my fingers met my still-unfamiliar topknot. “Alright, Akazin. Thank you. But if I have to make one more speech this week —”

“No speeches, my lord,” he replied, really laughing now. “Not unless the birthday boy wants to.”

I had been promised a celebration, and a celebration I was given. The following night, the royal piazza and the terraces around it were so packed with people they were standing-room only. Fireworks lit up the sky, honeywine flowed from every corner shop, and even a parade jangled its way through the street. Acrobats walked on their hands, dancers twirled, and a great cloth dragon twisted and turned with the men underneath its hide. 

Standing on my terrace, freshly dressed for my latest public appearance, I really did put my head in my hands. Disbelief and the sheer novelty of it all flowed through me, humbling me. A year ago I had been arrested for daring to enter Fire Nation territory, and now… And now _my_ people were celebrating _me_, rejoicing through the streets of Caldera City on the day of my birth. 

“Are you ready to go, birthday lord?”

I turned. Mai was stunning in her traditional dress, a red silk collar high on her throat, her dark hair glossy beneath the candlelight. 

“I’m ready,” I answered, and reached for her hand. “Can you believe all of this?”

“Can I believe it? It’s the Firelord’s birthday,” she took my fingers in her cool, dry ones. “Of course I can believe it.”

“You look beautiful,” I said sincerely. “Bright red really becomes you.”

“Are you going to be writing me poetry next?” she asked dryly. I was rewarded for my efforts with a quick squeeze of her hand. “Come on, let’s go. They’re all waiting for you.”

When we stepped out onto the dais at the center of the piazza, cheers went up from the center all the way down to the streets below. I blinked, still not believing that this could all be for _me._

“Happy birthday to the Firelord!”

“Happy seventeenth, Lord Zuko!”

The shouts and whistles seemed to come from every corner. Someone even threw me a sun lily, which I caught in a daze. 

“That’s a birthday kiss for you, my Lord!”

Mai scowled. 

The festivities went on and on. Aang and my uncle both showed up, to the utter delight of the crowd. The former general, to whom I owed so much, grasped my shoulders warmly.

“Happy birthday, my nephew. I am so proud of you.”

Those words were worth more to me than his weight in gold, and I couldn’t fight the tight feeling that rose in my throat.

“Thank you, Uncle,” I whispered, burying my face in his shoulder so that no one could see the tear running down my good side. “Thank you for everything.”

He held me for a moment and let me gather myself, before releasing me and clapping his hands together gleefully.

“And what would a celebration be, without a little music!”

A band trooped out onto the dais, and more cheers went up from the crowd. Uncle regarded me mischievously, his eyes twinkling.

“Perhaps you will honor us all with some tsungi playing, Firelord Zuko? You always were very gifted at it —”

“Absolutely not,” I hissed. I could feel myself going red again. “Don’t let them all hear you or I’ll never hear the end of it.”

He laughed. “Some dancing, then!”

It didn’t take long for the square and the streets below to fill with waltzing couples. I recognized almost all of the songs — they were traditionally Fire Nation, part of our heritage. Suppressed, but not forgotten. A very _energetic_ part of our heritage, I thought, as I watched Aang almost knock over a row of lanterns with his airbending. The sight of so many people all together, dancing and having fun, made me more certain than ever that it had all been worth it, and that I would go through the last year all over again.

I turned to Mai. “Come dance with me?”

She sighed and raised her eyebrows at me. “You want me to dance?”

“Please,” I wheedled, grabbing her hand. “It’s my birthday.”

Her face softened. “Maybe to a slower song. I’m not going down there and whirling all over the place with the masses.”

I rolled my eyes. “Mai.”

“Let’s just wait for another waltz.”

A seed of stubbornness sprouted in my chest. It was my birthday, damn it, and if I wanted to dance the phoenix flight, I was going to do it.

“I’m going to go dance,” I told her. “When a song comes on that you like, come and find me, okay?”

“Uh huh,” she murmured, already distracted by a plate of octopus being passed around the dais.

Resisting the urge to shake my head, I jumped down into the crowd, where I was welcomed with open arms. As a child in the palace, before my father came to power, we’d had to take dance lessons. I’d always secretly looked forward to them— they reminded me of battle. The body control wasn’t so different, and I really did get a thrill out of it. It was a shock to realize just how much I’d missed music and the pleasure of dancing, and I started drawing up a traditional dances mandate for schools in my head before the song was even over.

The one thing I was not expecting about dancing among “the masses” was the very large number of girls who wanted to be my partner. I would’ve liked having someone to dance with, but Mai had a very good vantage point up on the dais and I didn’t want to risk it. 

“Where’s Mai, Zuko?” Aang asked, executing a very exuberant camelephant strut. “She should come hang out with us!”

“She, uh, doesn’t like to dance very much,” I yelled back over the noise. “I told her to come find me if she liked the song, but I guess she hasn’t settled on one yet.”

“She doesn’t like to dance?” Aang frowned as if such a thing had never occurred to him.

“Yeah, I don’t get it either.” Before I could continue, someone tapped me on the shoulder and I turned.

“Firelord Zuko.” A pretty girl in yellow bowed to me. “I would be honored if you’d have me for the next dance.” 

I could hear Aang snickering behind me. I tried valiantly to ignore him, and to ignore the traitorous flip my stomach still performed whenever a girl approached me.

“I’m sorry,” I said, bowing back. “I’ll be dancing the next number with my girlfriend. But thank you very much for coming out tonight.”

She smiled and inclined her head, polite in disappointment. I felt that seed of stubbornness grow a bit more. _Where was Mai?_

“You can’t beat them off forever, Zuko,” Aang teased, whirling around me on a stream of air. “Man, I thought being the Avatar would earn me a few more dances, but these girls are only interested in the Firelord.”

“Well, it _is_ the Firelord’s birthday,” I answered, sticking my nose in the air. “Now all he needs is his girlfriend to make his excuses actually valid.”

It was true, though, I thought suddenly. These girls were all interested in the Firelord. But were they interested in _me?_ It didn’t matter, of course. I had Mai already. She was nobility, a family friend. I had known her all my life. But if I wasn’t weighed down in these ornate robes, would any of my potential partners look twice at a boy with half his face burned off?

_Someone did,_ a small voice in the back of my head reminded me. _And she didn’t even know your real name. Once, you did meet someone who thought you were worth looking at, worth talking to. Worth getting to know, worth kissing…_

“Stop it,” I told myself firmly.

“Huh?” Aang hollered over the music.

“Nothing,” I muttered. _Where in the name of the spirits was my girlfriend?_

\- - -

After the day of coronation, time began to slide by more quickly than I thought possible, and before I knew it, it was October. The air began to cool in Ba Sing Se, and it seemed like every other day there was more news from the Fire Nation. A new treaty had been signed, a new code had been put into place, the academic requirements were changing. It seemed that the new Firelord intended to be as good as his word.

“I told you it would be okay,” Yu said happily to me over a cup of tea. “He meant what he said, about restoring the honor of the Fire Nation.”

“I guess he did,” I answered, blowing lightly on my cup. “But there’s still a long way to go. What’s going to happen to all the injured soldiers? All the refugees in Ba Sing Se?”

“Well,” Yu said slowly, “I suppose we’ll just have to wait and see. Hopefully the Earth King will put some kind of relocation system in place.”

I looked at her doubtfully. “That sounds awfully productive for him.”

“I know, Jin,” she said tiredly. “It does. But let’s not talk about the war anymore right now. I’m tapped out.”

“Well, what do you want to talk about?”

She leaned forward, a conspiratorial twinkle in her eye. “How about the love life of a certain pretty girl I know?”

I blushed. “Yu! There’s nothing to talk about.”

An eyebrow went up. “Oh really? Try telling that to Takan.”

I blushed even deeper. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Me either,” she mused. “Probably wouldn’t end well.” She looked at me out of the corner of her eye, suddenly serious. “He’s liked you for a long time, you know.”

I bit my lip. “I know.”

She watched me silently for a minute. “So you don’t feel the same way?”

“No. I mean, yes! I do. I don’t know.”

She nodded sagely, sipping her tea. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Well, I guess I might as well, now,” I shrugged, trying not to squirm under her older-sister-like gaze. “I like him. I do, a lot. He’s kind and thoughtful and generous, and I know that he cares about me. We trust each other, we like spending time together. But…”

“But,” she repeated, watching me.

“I don’t know,” I said, flapping my hands helplessly. “I don’t know how to explain it.”

She looked at me carefully, considering me over the rim of her cup. “How old are you now?”

“Sixteen.”

Another wise nod. “Sixteen. You’re a woman now, Jin. And you’re my friend, which means I know that you’re smart. You’re smart enough to know what you need, what you want.”

“Those are harder questions than I used to think,” I said quietly.

“Well, maybe try talking to me about it. Maybe we can figure it out together.”

“I’ll try,” I said, swirling my tea around and trying not to feel too shy. “I love Takan. I really do. I love his steadiness, and his consistency. He’s reliable and stable, and that makes me feel safe. He’s good to me, and good to our friends. He’s a good man, and on paper there’s nothing not to like.”

“And off paper?”

“Well, obviously I love him off paper too, but…” I pinched the bridge of my nose. “I don’t know. I really care for him. But I want… I just want _more_, somehow.” I looked at her. “Does that make sense?”

“More,” she repeated slowly. “Yeah, it makes sense.”

I chewed my lip, debating. Her eyes were sad all of a sudden, and miles away.

“Yu, do you miss Moka?” I asked softly.

Her knuckles grew white on her teacup, then relaxed. “Yes,” she said softly. “Every day.” I stretched out my hand and she took it, her fingers squeezing mine. 

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “Don’t give up hope.”

“I can’t stop hoping,” she murmured. She met my eyes, and I saw that her green ones were filled with tears. I gripped her hand harder, my heart aching. 

“He’ll come home.”

“I pray he does. He was _my_ ‘more.’”

Going out with just the three of us made Moka’s absence felt all the more strongly, but it’d been exactly a month since the war had ended and people were eager to celebrate. The streets were filled with laughing crowds and glowing lanterns, and the smell of roasting duck floated up to the sky. There was still so much to be done, but today was a day to appreciate all the ground that had been won back already.

When Yu, Takan, and I slid onto our usual bench at the Seven Lilies, the place was already loud and raucous. Honeywine was flowing, and a juggler was performing atop a table for a cheering crowd. Yu grabbed my hand.

“Should I get us some drinks?” she yelled over all the noise.

“Yes, please,” I yelled back. Takan nodded, and she began to make her way carefully to the bar, dodging loose elbows and careless feet from the crowd around the juggler. Takan drew a little closer to me on the bench as he glanced around, protectiveness in his every line.

“Are you sure you’re okay in here?” he asked, dropping his chin so I could hear him.

“Yeah, I’m fine. What, you don’t think I’m tough enough?” I teased, smiling so he’d know I was joking. He didn’t laugh, only smiled back at me.

“I’d never accuse you of such a thing.”

_Not outright, anyway._ He had never again brought up the possibility of me having ‘met someone,’ and I had never volunteered any information. Maybe he was hoping that if he just ignored it, it would go away — which, I thought bitterly, it had. 

Yu returned with our drinks a moment later, for which I was grateful. I downed a quarter of it in a gulp, eager to join in the high spirits of the crowd around us, and we drank and talked until three glasses of wine had disappeared from in front of me. Feeling warm and loose, I couldn’t help but smile at my friends. It was good just to be here together, alive and laughing. 

A story-teller had replaced the juggler, and the pub had quieted a little so as to hear him better. We caught sntaches of his tale over the noise, his voice soaring and falling like singer’s. 

“...and while the Avatar had to face Ozai, the young man faced his own daunting prospect-- a duel against his sister, who they say could fight with the strength of the sun…”

“What story is he telling?” I asked Yu curiously, taking another sip of my wine. She tapped her fingers on the table.

“I’m not sure. It’s nothing traditional. It kind of sounds like a war story.”

“Can we listen?” I tugged on her sleeve. She nodded, and the three of us drew a little closer.

“She had never met an opponent she could not defeat, but on that final day, something changed. When they turned to face each other and the battle began, billows of fire flew from them both. Blue met orange, and the sky lit up as though the whole world was burning…”

“You know what they say about fighting fire with fire,” Takan whispered. I didn’t answer.

“She could not land a blow. He blocked her at every turn, and fired back every time.While they had been apart, he’d grown powerful with strength she knew not, and, for the first time in her life, she struggled…”

“Who are they talking about?” I muttered. “Who was fighting?”

Yu shrugged, but Takan’s brow furrowed. “I think… I think the young man might be the new Firelord. I heard something a while back about him having to fight his prodigy sister at the end of the war…”

“For a long time, neither could touch the other. Her frustration grew, and the roar of fire filled the streets… but her brother stood his ground. He would not be moved, and when he finally knocked her off her feet, it seemed that the end was near.” The storyteller’s voice dropped. “But desperation makes us reckless. She knew that he could redirect lightning, but it was the last weapon in her nearly-empty arsenal…”

“You can _bend_ lightning?” I murmured. I’d never imagined such a thing.

“I’ve heard of it,” Yu answered softly. “But it’s supposed to be an incredibly rare ability.”

“So she summoned her last bit of focus, and wove a net of cold fire. But desperation can also make us dishonorable,” the storyteller said, and his voice hardened again. “She suspected that she could not win, and with this knowledge she became cowardly. She shot her lightning, not at her brother, but at the woman behind him, the innocent bystander who had accompanied him there.”

A hush fell over the crowd.

“She was a waterbender,” the storyteller said in a low voice. “She had no fire abilities, and had been taken by complete surprise. But the prince had seen his sister’s intentions a second before she acted, and flung himself between the two women.”

The crowd listening was now silent. My heart beat unnaturally fast in my chest, waiting to hear what had happened. 

“He redirected it,” the storyteller said, his words intense, and a ripple swept through those of us listening. “He redirected it, but barely. He had no root, and he was airborne as he caught it, in his leap to protect his friend. He kept it away from his heart, but it damaged his stomach, and in his desperation there was no time to focus the blast at his sister. It dissipated into the sky, and it seemed that she had won.” His voice rose again. “But it wasn't too late. The woman that he would have given his life to protect outsmarted his weakened sister, and, under their combined efforts, she was defeated. The fire had burned everything around them, but from the ashes there came a new day. The prince survived, and, in taking his rightful place on the throne, ended the Hundred Year War that had plagued the world for so long. May we always remember the good that love and great power can do, when used in conjunction, and the sacrifices that must be made in pursuit of what is right.”

There was a brief, ringing silence, and then applause surrounded the performer. He bowed and bowed again, smiling as spectators tossed coins into his cap. I looked at Takan.

“Is that a _real_ story? Did that really happen?”

“I don’t know,” he said slowly, swirling his wine around in his glass. “It definitely _sounds_ exaggerated. But I don’t know. I’ve been surprised before.”

“I think that it happened,” Yu declared. “And even if it didn’t, I’m going to pretend that it did.”

“Yu,” Takan laughed. “You can’t just decide for yourself whether or not something happened. Either it did, or it didn’t. You can’t just choose to believe.”

“Yes, I can,” she replied stubbornly, and drained the rest of her wine. 

“Imagination, Takan,” I grinned, and elbowed him. “Do you have any?”

He just rolled his eyes, and all three of us laughed. 

“Not everything is black or white,” Yu told him. “Not everything is good or bad. Some things are a little bit of both.”

\- - -

The terrace outside my bedroom quickly became my favorite place in the palace. After every long day I would step out onto the tiles and watch as the sun dropped into the sea, usually lost in my own thoughts and worries.

“What’s wrong?” Mai asked, her voice soft in my ear as she wrapped her arms around me. “You’ve been quiet all day.”

“Nothing,” I said, a little too quickly. She raised her eyebrows.

“Nothing, huh?” Releasing me, she moved to stand beside me at the railing, covering my hand with hers. “Zuko, you know you can talk to me, right? You don’t have to do this all alone. You can tell me what’s on your mind.”

_No, I can’t_, I thought privately. _That would be a death wish._ But I nodded, and put my other hand on top of hers. 

“I know. I’ll tell you when I can put it into words.”

She nodded, and patted my hands as she pulled her own away. “We can talk later, if you’re ready. I’m going in, I can’t stand this heat anymore.”

_It’s not even that hot,_ I wanted to say. _It’s late autumn. And maybe you’d be more comfortable outside if you weren’t wearing three layers of clothing._ But I didn’t. I was quiet, and watched her as she opened the door and slipped inside. 

I sighed, propping my chin up on my hand. The truth was, I would never want to talk to Mai about what had been bothering me lately. Matters of state, matters of battle — those, I could handle. I knew how to be diplomatic (mostly). I knew how to fight (definitely). Matters of the heart, well… I was still trying to figure those out.

Loneliness had settled over me in the last week. Aang and Appa were gone to the Western Air Temple, Toph was in Omashu, and Katara and Sokka had gone home for a while, eager to see their family after months wandering the country. It was rather mortifying to find that I missed them all so much, but even more alarming was the realization that their company wasn’t necessarily what I was seeking. What I really _wanted_, was a _girl_. A companion. Someone to talk to, to hold, to share all my thoughts with. A girl who could and would give me back all that I gave to her. I was beginning to realize that, right now, I was afraid of being judged. Afraid of rejection for giving too much of myself. Afraid of _being_ too much. Each of these realizations was more horrifying than the last, and I groaned aloud. _What kind of mess had my own feelings gotten me into now?_

“You seem morose, nephew,” came a familiar voice, and I jumped nearly a foot in the air.

“Uncle!” I gasped, massaging my chest as I turned to face him. “Don’t sneak up on me like that!”

He closed the door to the terrace, and smiled that infuriatingly placid smile. “Guess your hearing is not what it used to be, eh, Zuko?”

“My hearing is fine,” I said peevishly, crossing my arms. “You’re just unnaturally stealthy for your age.”

He laughed his belly laugh, and I softened. Maybe it was good that he was here, after all.

“You flatter me, nephew. We’ll have to work on your detection in training.”

“I have hundreds of guards to do that for me now.”

“No, Zuko,” he said sharply, drawing up beside me at the railing. “You are your own strongest weapon. You must never let yourself grow dull from lack of time on the whetstone.”

_Give me a break!_ I wanted to snap. _I’m busy!_ But I chewed the words and swallowed them before they could pass my lips. _Think of everything he’s done for you._ “You’re right, Uncle. I’ve been putting off my training lately. I need to make time for it again.”

He nodded, pleased with my response. “You do. It also might help you blow off some of the frustration that has you moaning and groaning on your royal terrace like an eelhound.”

I scowled, but then I caught myself. _Practice patience. And think of your wrinkles!_ I pinched my nose, allowing my forehead to relax. “Actually, Uncle, I think I could use some advice.”

He beamed, the way I knew he would, and put his palms together. “I am ready to hear your dilemma.”

I glanced over my shoulder. “Is Mai still in my room?”

“No,” he answered, raising his eyebrows slightly. “She went downstairs.”

I nodded and took a breath. “Well, I, uh… I wanted to ask you about girls. Um, women.” I could feel my face getting flushed, but for once, mercifully, my uncle didn’t tease. He simply nodded.

“Go on.”

“Well… I don’t know how to tell when someone is right for you,” I fumbled out. “How do you know when you’re with the right person?”

My uncle turned and faced the sea, his weathered, powerful hands spread out on the railing. In that moment, I was struck for the first time by how old he looked, and all the years of experience that lined his face. He, I noticed, had no frown lines.

“That is a very tricky question, nephew. The ‘right person’... that phrase opens more questions than answers. But I can tell you this,” he said, turning to face me. “You cannot force anything. And I do not mean you should not fight for your love, and work at it — because it does take work. But you cannot fit a square peg into a round hole, and you should not try. It does not do to wish to alter someone’s deepest nature. If ever you begin longing for that, you have already lost. She should complement you, balance you, and you should be able to learn from her. You must grow together. That is the only way.”

“Learn from her?”

“Oh, yes,” he answered, nodding. “And she should learn from you, too. It takes two flints to make a fire, but two sticks in the mud simply sit there. Do you know what I mean?”

I felt a deep blush creep up my cheeks. “I think so,” I muttered.

“Listen to me, Zuko,” he said, and grasped my shoulders so that I faced him. His amber eyes were kind. “You have always had strong instincts. If you want something, you must reach out for it.”

“Thank you, Uncle,” I murmured, resisting the urge to squirm uncomfortably. “I’ll think about what you’ve said.”

After he’d gone, I stayed out on the terrace for a long time. When the sun was gone and only blue twilight remained, I tilted my head back to look at the sky. It was an infinite arc, silver sparkling here and there where an early star had appeared. How strange it was that everyone in the world looked up and saw the same sky.

A few heartbeats later, I lowered my chin and ducked back inside my own room. I was struck, not for the first time, by its luxury. Long gone were the days of sleeping in a saddle atop a flying bison, although, I thought miserably, at least then I had had some company. 

The bed was absurdly large. The sheets were silk, and a finely carved wooden headboard and iron dragon’s feet served as a stand. The pillows were piled high, soft and inviting, and blankets were strewn across the mattress. Yes, it was beautiful, and entirely too big for just one person.

I had Mai. I could ask her to join me, to stay with me for the night, and she would say yes. No one would say anything — I could do as I liked. I didn’t have to sleep alone for another night, my thoughts keeping me awake with no one else to tell them to. Yes, I had Mai. 

_So why did I keep thinking of someone else?_

\- - -

Autumn deepened, and my parents and I sold the last of our kakis and nuts. The growing season was almost over. Soon the market would dry up to salted meat, jellies, and imported goods, meaning that I had more free time than ever, which I wasn’t so sure was a good thing.

I'd seen Yu and Takan almost every day lately, and we’d been frequenting the pubs at night. Ever since our encounter with the storyteller we’d been keen to hear more, and bars were the place to do it. 

“Are you ready to go, Jin?” Yu hollered through my bedroom door. “We don’t want to keep Takan waiting!”

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” I called back, scooping up my coin pouch and tucking it into my sash. “I thought the people of the Earth Kingdom were ‘proud and patient’?”

I opened my bedroom door to her laughing. “Yeah, yeah. Come on, let’s go.”

We wove our way through the busy streets to the block where Takan lived. As we walked, a chill breeze swept over the rooftops, and I shivered. Soon it would be winter. Moka’s birthday was approaching, and, as strong as Yu was, I could tell she was thinking about it. Nearly six months had passed since we’d last seen him.

“Are you doing alright?” I asked quietly. She glanced at me, caught my expression, and sighed.

“Yeah,” she answered softly. “I’m alright.”

“You can always talk to me,” I told her as we turned a corner. “Don’t forget it.”

“Thanks,” she smiled sadly, her eyes saying more than her lips. “That means a lot to me.”

We were silent for a few moments.

“He’ll be twenty in a month,” she whispered. “I hope they have lobstercrab puffs, wherever he is.”

I looked at her. “Me too.”

“I’ll wait another year,” she told me, staring straight ahead. “I’ll carry a candle for him until next November. But if he’s gone, he’s gone. I can’t keep hoping for nothing, Jin. It’s killing me.”

My chest tightened, but there were no arguments to be made. I couldn’t blame her. “I know he’d understand.”

Takan was certainly not in a mourning mood when we picked him up. 

“My two favorite girls!” He bent and kissed each of us on the cheek. “What kept you? Did you have to fight your way through a battalion to get here?”

“No,” Yu answered, straightening his headband for him. “Jin just takes twice as long as average to lace up a pair of sandals.”

“Hey!” I protested. “Not fair. You came to get me early!”

Bickering and teasing, we made our way up to the Seven Lilies, but my mind was elsewhere. It was stuck on the pain in Yu’s face when she talked about Moka, and the love that burned in her eyes when she said his name. What must it be like, to adore someone like that? To fit together like puzzle pieces the way they had?

_A year, Moka,_ I prayed. _You have a year._

The Seven Lilies was crowded that night, and to all of our delights, there was a storyteller already sitting atop a table in the center. 

“Awesome!” Yu whispered. “We got one on the first try. Maybe she’ll have some stories about war prisoners of the Fire Nation.”

Takan and I glanced at each other. “Maybe so.”

“It’s my turn to go get drinks,” he said, and pointed to an empty bench. “Why don’t you two sit down? I’ll be right back.”

We did, and Yu sat forward eagerly. I kept my eyes on her face.

“And then the Painted Lady came to them, floating through the mist over the water. They were not afraid, for she was their protector…”

The corners of her mouth turned down. “Just a traditional story,” she muttered. “Nothing interesting.”

“We can still listen.”

And listen we did. Takan came back with a pitcher of beer and we made our way through it together. The storyteller wove a tale of compassion and justice, and by the time she had finished we had started on our second round. 

“It _was_ a good story after all,” Yu said, her cheeks pink from the drink. “Here, Jin, could you put these in her cup?” She dropped three coppers into my hand. 

_Three coppers…_ I rubbed my thumb over one of them. Just enough to buy a cup of silver needle tea.

“Sure,” I said. “Time to stand up. Wish me luck.”

They both did, Takan offering his hand to steady me. I took it and got to my feet, his skin cool under my fingers. I breathed in and out, clearing my head as best I could, and started through the crowd towards the storyteller. Her cup was filling up already — she was good, there was no doubt about it. I dropped the coins into it, and she smiled at me.

“Thank you for the story,” I said, smiling back and trying not to slur my words too much. “My friends and I enjoyed it very much.”

She inclined her head gratefully, her gray hair falling onto her shoulders. “I’m glad to hear it, child.”

I bit my lip. Storytellers were often nomads, traveling around in search of new tales and experiences. The chance that she knew anything about Moka was slim indeed, but…

“Have you been in the Earth Kingdom long, grandmother?” I asked. “You haven’t heard anything about our young men the Fire Nation has taken, have you?”

She shook her head sadly. “No, child. I’m sorry. I’ve been in Ba Sing Se for the last six years.” Her eyes drifted over to where my friends were watching me closely. “I hope that whoever you and your friends have lost comes back to you.”

I bowed and turned, disappointment settling into my stomach. Determination edged its way in stubbornly. _If I have to ask everyone I meet, I will find some information about where he is. He can’t be gone. I have to try. For his family, and for Yu._

Lost in my own thoughts and more than a little tipsy, I realized belatedly that I had trodden on someone in the crowd. Opening my mouth to apologize, I raised my eyes only to have the words die in my throat. 

“Hey! Watch where you’re going, brat!” The man I had stepped on had risen, and drawn himself up to his full, considerable height. He was glowering down at me, eyes narrowed. I gulped.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean —”

“You street rats are all the same,” he spat, swaying slightly, and I realized he’d had too much to drink. “Careless. Learn to pay attention!”

At this, I scowled back. “Sir, it wasn’t my intent —”

“I didn’t ask for your intent!” he snapped, and made to grab my collar. I dodged, alarmed. In a flash, Takan was by my side, then stepping in front of me.

“Leave her alone,” he said calmly. His bulk between us was reassuring, and I walked with quick steps back to Yu, who stood up and took my hand protectively. 

The man laughed. “Who are you to tell me what to do?” He made a swipe for Takan, who ducked. 

“I’m not going to fight you. I just want you to leave my friend alone. She didn’t mean any harm. It was an accident.”

“An accident, eh?” the man snapped belligerently. He was growing angrier by the second, judging by the deep flush in his cheeks. “Well, it won’t be an accident when I send you flying through that front door!”

He swung again, and again Takan ducked. The pub crowd was watching, half wary, half eager for a fight.

_Strike back, Takan!_ I wanted to shout. _Don’t let him talk to you like that!_ But he wouldn’t, and I knew it.

“We’re going,” he told the man, and then turned, making his way back to us with disgust written all over his face. “Come on, you two. Let’s get out of here.”

I wasn’t ready to go, and it seemed silly to leave just because I’d stepped on some hogmonkey’s foot. But we didn’t have much of a choice — the man was still glaring at Takan’s back, and no one was making a move to throw _him_ out. I wished fervently that I was bigger, or at least that I had a large knife. As it was, there wasn’t much I could do. 

Takan opened the door to the street, and the man’s hard, drunken voice called after us.

“Yeah, that’s right. Just run away, boy. She’s not worth it, anyway.”

I saw Takan’s back stiffen, but he didn’t look back. Anger burned in my stomach, and Yu had to grab my wrist and tug me out the door. 

“Come _on_…”

Once out on the street, I couldn’t contain myself.

“What was that all about?” I burst out. “I barely did a damn thing!”

“He was just drunk,” Takan said as we turned the corner, heading home. “Forget about what he said. He doesn’t know anything.”

“Takan’s right, Jin.”

I touched the back of Takan’s hand lightly. “Thanks for that.”

He squeezed my fingers and didn’t let go. “Don’t mention it.”

It was nice, the feeling of holding his hand. He’d defended me without thinking twice about it, and I loved him for that. _But why didn’t he fight back?_ whispered a small, traitorous voice in the back of my mind. _We deserved to be there. We should have been the ones that stayed._

Stop it, I told myself. You should be grateful that you have him. And I _was_ grateful. Grateful that he had my back, grateful for the way he looked at me, grateful for the sweet feeling of his hand reassuringly in mind. Yes, I was grateful.

_So why did I keep thinking of someone else?_


	3. The Game of Luck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "They went to the Upper Ring, just like I expected, but then I saw them come back down with a palanquin.” Her green eyes were round with apprehension. “They came through the market. Now I know who he’s looking for.”
> 
> I felt my stomach go cold under her stare. “Who?”
> 
> “_You_, Jin,” she exhaled. “He’s looking for you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, fluff. Get ready for it.
> 
> Reviews are appreciated! <3

Another month slipped away and a chill settled over Ba Sing Se, cold air snaking its way through cracks in the walls of our house and drifting in through the roof. It was a painful reminder of how little we had, and how hard times became in the winter months -- no matter how he tried, my father just could not bring in enough money to clothe and feed us, buy extra firewood, and fix our insulation problems. The first two items were managed, just barely.

“This sucks,” Takan lamented, laying down his cards on the cobblestones. “I fold. Another bad hand, and we don’t even have enough money to buy a round! Winter really is the worst season.”

We were in the courtyard of the Seven Lilies, gambling lychees on cards and shivering. We didn’t want to risk going in lest they threw us out for not buying, but none of us really wanted to go home, either.

“Speak for yourself,” Yu answered, and placed two more lychees in the center. “I raise you two lychees.”

“I will see your two, and raise you another three,” I answered, careful to keep my face neutral. They both raised their eyebrows.

“Alright,” Takan said, thumbing through his card stack. “Here you go.”

He slapped the card face-up onto the cobblestones. I kept my expression clear, but my insides did a victory dance. It was the ten of flames. 

“I call,” Yu declared, throwing her last three lychees in the middle.

“Let’s see ‘em,” Takan said.

I laid down my cards gleefully. All flames.

“Damn!” Yu said ruefully. “Guess I’m going hungry tonight.”

“Don’t worry,” I giggled, tossing their fruit back to them. “I’m a benevolent ruler. I share.”

They both laughed, and Takan gathered up the cards. “Speaking of benevolent rulers,” he said conspiratorially, “did you two hear that the Fire Lord is coming to Ba Sing Se?”

Yu halted her lychee-peeling. “He is? Why?”

Takan shrugged, shuffling. “Don’t know for sure. I just heard it in the marketplace. Although,” he dropped his voice even lower, “word on the street is that he’s here looking for someone.”

“_Looking_ for someone?” I asked, frowning. “What, like an enemy?”

Takan shrugged again. “Like I said, I’m not sure. That’s just what I heard.”

“Excuse me,” came a voice from behind us. “Would you like to make that game a little more interesting, young lady?”

All three of us turned. A man stood there, about Takan’s size, but much older. A brown hood covered the forehead of a wily face, and cunning hard-won in the city slums shone out of two green eyes. But his hand, when he held it out, was full of gold coins. I felt my stomach rumble longingly. 

“Don’t, Jin,” Takan breathed carefully so that only I could hear. “It’s not worth the risk.”

I felt my spine stiffen. I was good at cards, and hadn’t he just been the one complaining about not having any money? _You can’t always play it safe, Takan._

“I’d be glad to, uncle,” I called out. “Won’t you come sit?”

Takan and Yu both shot me glances, but said nothing.

The man made his way over to us and settled himself cross-legged on the ground in front of me. He cast an eye over my two friends, as if assessing them, and then plunked a large money bag onto the ground beside him.

“Awfully cold for you youngsters to be playing out here on the stones, isn’t it?”

“I’m afraid I don’t have much to bet,” I said by way of explanation. “I hope you have some coppers in that bag, sir.”

He smiled a sharp-toothed smile at me. “Don’t you worry. I have coppers a-plenty.”

I rubbed a finger over one of the six coins in my pocket. It was all I had. _Two cups of silver needle…_ I shook my head at myself. _Stop it! Focus._

“Won’t you deal, nephew?” the stranger asked Takan. Takan nodded mutely, and we began.

He won the first hand, I won the second and third. I watched as his eyes narrowed. He was undoubtedly very good, and very experienced; but I had been playing cards against my mother and father, two very capable opponents, almost every night for the last sixteen years. I knew what I was doing. There was something in the air, and I said a quick prayer that Dekax, the spirit of luck, was on my side.

The game progressed, and I saw Yu’s eyes widen slightly with every fresh risk I took -- but I wasn’t afraid. Confidence was my friend tonight. I had a chance in front of me to win dinner for myself and my friends, and I was going to snatch it it up as readily as I could.

“You play well, niece,” the man declared grudgingly. We had reached the final hand. “Very few so young are so capable.”

“Thank you,” I answered carefully. _I bet you never would have approached me if you’d known just how capable I am._ “You’ve livened up my evening considerably, uncle.”

And livened it up he had. The coppers were long since forgotten, with a small pile of won gold coins sitting in front of both of us. I was close, very close, to walking away from this with enough money to give the three of us an evening out and have some to spare to take home to my parents. _Dekax, please don’t abandon me now._

The stranger considered his hand carefully, and considered the scene in front of him. It struck me, then, how bedraggled I must look in my rough winter robe and cheap slippers. No wonder he had approached me for an easy win. I felt my nerves harden. 

“I’m all in,” he declared, and pushed his pile towards the center. 

I willed my eyes to not widen. Yu and Takan, however, had no such scruples. They turned, as if pulled in unison, to look at me. _Fold,_ I could hear them urging me. _Don’t take the chance._

But my mind was made up. 

“I will see you,” I answered, allotting an equal pile from my own stash for the pot. “And,” I continued, scooping up the rest of my winnings, “I will raise you another ten.”

I could feel my friends wince without even looking up. My opponent, however, smiled. 

“You are a brave girl.”

Takan picked up his deck, paused for a moment as if praying, and turned the card over onto the cobblestones.

It was the Lord of Flames.

“Hands down.”

The man across from me laid down his cards face-up, victory written all over his face. A very good hand indeed -- all Stones. A 9, 8, 7, 6, and 5. 

“Jin?”

Biting back a laugh, I set my cards onto the cold stone, fingers dancing triumphantly over the Lord of Flames. _My missing puzzle piece. _My gamble had paid off.

All Flames. Ace, Lord, Lady, Fool, and 10. 

There was absolute silence for one, then two, then three heartbeats. And then --

“By Tui and La,” my opponent exclaimed. “Damn it all!”

I tried not to look too smug, and I absolutely _would not_ make eye contact with my friends until this man had left. I didn’t trust myself not to jump up and down.

“Well,” he said, looking at me at last, “you won this one, niece, fair and square.” He pushed the pot towards me -- bitter, but not a cheat. _Thank you again, Dekax._ “Thank you for teaching me an important lesson.”

“Thank you for allowing us to eat tonight,” I answered, scooping the coins into my long-empty purse and bowing. “And for the fun.”

Victory still buzzing hot and loud in my ears, I finally looked at my two friends. Takan looked as though he had been hit over the head, and Yu’s eyes were shining. 

“You’re crazy,” she whispered.

“Not crazy,” I grinned, shaking my now-full purse until it jingled. “Just very, very hungry.”

* * *

The money I had won from the gambler kept food in the mouths of all three of our families for a week. If I had kept the whole lot to myself we could have patched up our roof, but I knew that if things had gone south in that courtyard, Yu and Takan would have had my back without thinking twice about it. It was only fair that they shared the reward equally.

But money, like food, was temporary, and I was soon back at the loom. It was because of this that on a dreary Tuesday, I was woken up from an accidental nap by someone rapping at the door.

_TAP TAP TAP._

“What --?” I leapt up from my stool, then sighed, rubbing my sore neck. _Damn._ Had I really fallen asleep mid-weave again? I was going to have to be more careful, lest I cracked my head open on the hard wooden frame.

_TAP TAP TAP!_

“Okay, okay,” I yawned, throwing the yarn from my lap back into the basket. “I’m coming.”

I peeked out the window before I opened the door and gave a start. It was Yu, shifting from foot to foot and looking agitated. _Why was she here?_ She was supposed to be at market until sundown. Unless…

I swung the door open. 

“Yu, what --?”

“Jin! Good, you’re here,” she grasped my shoulders, relief and then worry taking over her face in turns. I felt my own sweep of foreboding.

“Yu?” I asked anxiously, studying her face. “What’s wrong?”

“Listen to me,” she said quickly, glancing over her shoulder. “They’re probably going to be here soon, and I need to tell you what I heard.”

“They --? Who’s --”

“Shh!” she glanced over her shoulder again. “Listen, Jin. Do you remember how Takan said last week that the Fire Lord was coming to the city to look for someone?”

“Yes, but --”

“Well, he was right,” she interrupted, fixing her gaze on my face. “I’ve been up since dawn, putting up our market stall, and I saw his procession come through the walls. They went to the Upper Ring, just like I expected, but then I saw them come back down with a palanquin.” Her green eyes were round with apprehension. “They came through the market. Now I know who he’s looking for.”

I felt my stomach go cold under her stare. “Who?”

“_You_, Jin,” she exhaled. “He’s looking for you.”

I blinked. “Me?”

“Yes, you.” She glanced over her shoulder yet again. “I left as soon as I heard the guards asking, but it can’t be very long before they get here, everybody knows your family and you live so close by.”

“The Fire Lord? Me? Yu, what…?”

My head was spinning with confusion. How could the Fire Lord know my name, much less want something from me?

“I don’t know,” she shook her head. “I was hoping you would have some answers.”

I took a deep, steadying breath. Her nerves were infectious. “Look, he must be searching for a different Jin. There’s no way he means me, and there’s got to be hundreds of us in Ba Sing Se.”

“No,” Yu shook her head again, more vehemently this time. “It _is_ you. They knew that you lived in the Lower Ring, and they even described what you look like. It’s got to be you.”

Panic welled up in my stomach, and I pushed it down impatiently. The war was over. What could the Fire Lord want from me, of all people? There had to be a rational explanation. And yet, if there was one thing that I had learned in the last sixteen years, it was that having the Fire Nation search for you meant that you were in big trouble.

On impulse, I pulled Yu into a tight hug, burying my face in her shoulder. She embraced me back, and to my horror, I could feel her arms shaking.

“I’ll be okay,” I whispered. I had to try and be strong for her. “I’ll be fine. I haven’t done anything wrong. You should go back to market.”

She pulled away and looked at me with eyes full of tears. “I know you haven’t. Jin, be careful,” she mopped her eyes with her sleeve. “I can’t lose you the way I lost Moka.”

“You won’t,” I promised softly, knowing that they were empty words. “Now go.”

And with one last squeeze of my hand, she did.

I stood stock still for several long moments, trying to slow my pounding heart. My mind was spinning, fruitlessly tripping over itself in surprise and the utter lack of _sense_ that this situation made. I wasn’t even completely sure what the new Fire Lord’s name was. How was it that one of the most powerful men in the world not only knew _my_ name, but where I lived and what I looked like? I wracked my brain for anything I might have ever done to offend the Fire Nation, every political statement I might have ever made. I could come up with nothing of significance. Instead, the design of a playing card, defiantly face-up on cold cobblestones, swam into my mind. 

Maybe it wasn’t me that he was looking for, after all. Maybe the Fire Lord was seeking a different Jin who lived in the Lower Ring of Ba Sing Se and just happened to look like me. Maybe Dekax had not abandoned me just yet.

_Clomp, clomp, clomp, clomp._

It was the sound of boots. Multiple pairs of boots, walking in unison, coming towards the house.

“Damn it all,” I muttered, and ran out the back door. 

_Clomp, clomp, clomp, clomp._ They were getting closer. I forced myself to take deep breaths as I grabbed ahold, and, with the ease of practice, scrambled up the wooden ladder leaning against our back wall. I eyed the roof carefully. With as unreliable as it had been lately, I would have to be careful if I didn’t want to fall through my own ceiling; but there was no time to think twice. If I wanted to know why I was being searched for, this might be my only chance. With quick steps I avoided the weak-looking sections of shingles and laid down on my stomach along the side of the dormer facing the street. Now they couldn’t see me, but I could see them.

_Clomp, clomp, clomp, clomp._ Six Fire Nation soldiers were advancing down my street, four carrying a palanquin, two with swords on either side acting as guards. My stomach felt as though it’d been clamped in a vice. Wishing desperately that I had some answers, I edged closer to the gutter, hardly daring to blink.

“We’re here, sir,” one of the guards spoke in a gravelly voice. “Shall I knock?”

The four soldiers set the palanquin down with a gentle _clunk_ before the man inside answered.

“No,” he snapped. “Don’t announce me.”

I started for the second time that day. His voice was masculine, husky, but _young_. Young and, somehow… familiar?

“Don’t… announce you, my Lord?” the soldier’s voice was confused. “Why not?”

“_Because,_” came the voice again from behind the curtains. Was it my imagination, or did he sound… nervous? “If you do, she’s going to think I’m some kind of… _stuffy aristocrat_.” 

“But sir,” the guard sounded more confused than ever, and I watched as he exchanged bewildered glances with his fellow soldiers. “You _are_ an aristocrat. You’re the Fire Lord.”

“Yes, I _know_,” the voice came again, and this time it let out a huff of frustration. “This is ridiculous! I should have just come by myself on ostrich-horseback.” 

I frowed as inarticulate grumblings continued to come from inside the palanquin. Stuffy aristocrat? Royal procession? Ostrich-horseback? If my head had spun any faster, it would have fallen right off my shoulders. _What in the name of Tui was going on?_

And then the curtains parted.

It was as if my eyes moved in slow motion. First, a boot, soft black leather edged in gold. Then burgundy silk breeches and the hem of a robe, legs that led to a trim waist. That waist wrapped clear around in gold braid, expanding upwards and outwards to lean but broad shoulders capped in pointed epaulets. The shining gold emblem of the Fire Nation, sitting in the very center of a flat, muscular chest. An ornate, embroidered collar. And his face… his _face_... 

Utterly, astonishingly handsome, set with intense gold eyes, and marred by a dark burn scar stretching from his temple to the middle of his cheek.

_Lee._

I couldn’t help it -- I gasped, so forcefully that it hurt my throat. The cold wind carried it away as soon as it had left me, and none of the guards reacted -- but those golden eyes snapped up to the roof immediately, and I knew that he must have heard me.

I clamped my eyes shut, shivering. _Okay, I am going to close my eyes and count to ten. When I open them, this hallucination will be over and the world will make sense again. Ten, nine, eight… _

“What should we do, my Lord?”

“Nothing yet,” came that damnably familiar voice. “I’ll knock myself. This is my search. It’s only right.”

_...Four, three, two, one._

_Tap, tap, tap._

I felt the wall vibrate under me with his knock and opened my eyes. Nope, still hallucinating. There was the Fire Lord, in robes easily worth more than my entire house, standing at my front door with a royal retinue. With a royal retinue, and with a scar on his face invalidating absolutely any possibility that this was real.

I felt light-headed. _Come on, Jin, breathe._ There had to be an explanation for all this, a reasonable one. Lee couldn’t be the Fire Lord -- it must have been some kind of misunderstanding, or a charade. The Fire Lord could not be the boy that had kissed me, and then haunted my thoughts for months. I had not cried over _the Fire Lord_ disappearing from the Pao family tea shop. And yet, here he was, right in front of me. There had to be an explanation, but at the moment, my befuddled brain was not finding it.

_Tap, tap, tap._

He had knocked again. There was, of course, silence from inside the house.

“It would seem she’s not here,” one of the soldiers said carefully. “Should we come back tomorrow?”

I watched as he frowned, and tilted his head up to look at the roof. I almost gasped again at the way his eyes caught the early evening sunlight, turning molten. How many times had I thought of those eyes since I first saw them? A golden, flame-shaped headpiece glinted from his topknot, black hair much longer than I had last seen it, and dual broadswords strapped to his back completed the picture.

_He knows I’m here._ I was absolutely certain of it, but instead of ordering his soldiers to examine the roof, he turned away. 

“I guess we should. There’s no one home.”

_Please don’t let my voice crack_, I prayed silently to every spirit I knew. Gathering my courage, I sat up, fixing my eyes on his back.

“Yes, there is.”

He turned so fast I barely saw him do it, and when our eyes met, I felt as though my insides were melting. His eyes widened and his cheeks flushed, and then he paled very quickly. 

“I thought so,” he said hoarsely, staring up at me. “Jin…”

I raised my eyebrows at him, heart pounding so hard it was in danger of leaping right out of my chest. He broke our eye contact just long enough to dart a glance at the front of my house, with its two supports and small awning, and then he was looking at me again. Before I knew what was happening, he had swung, grabbed, and leaped with grace that would have put a tigerleopard to shame. And suddenly, he was _sitting right next to me_. I felt the lightheadedness come back full-force.

“You may go now,” he said to his guards, all of whom were gaping up at us. “Go eat and then go back to Aang’s house.”

The leader bowed, and the palanquin was lifted.

“Wait!” I said, and this time my voice did crack. “Please, wait.” I forced myself to look at the boy -- no, at the _man_ sitting next to me, who was looking back with unmistakable anxiety in his eyes. “Could I ask you a favor?”

“Anything,” he said immediately, and then blushed again. “What is it?”

I turned my gaze back to the lead soldier. He was far easier to look at at the present moment. “Could you please,” I said, quietly but clearly, “carry a message to the twelfth stall of the market for me? There’s a girl named Yu there. I need her to know that I’m alright.”

The soldier looked puzzled, but nodded respectfully. “Yes, Lady.” He bowed to me too, and at this, I felt like I really might fall off the roof after all. I was so far out of my rank’s element that I might as well be on the moon. With one last curious look at the pair of us, the honor guard turned and clomped back up the street. 

Surely, this must be a dream. I pinched myself, hard.

“Ow,” I muttered.

“Are you alright?” my companion asked, his voice suddenly loud in the silence. I could not seem to look at him, sure that the world was going to spin off of its axis if I chanced another glance at his face. 

“Be careful up here,” I said automatically as he shifted. “The roof’s unstable. Bad shingles.”

“I can feel it,” he answered thoughtfully. “Thanks for the warning.”

Silence, awkward and heavy, encompassed us. I could feel his eyes on me, and I turned my own from my hands towards the horizon. The sun was beginning to set -- Yu would just be packing up. They would get my message there in time. _Although,_ I thought to myself ruefully, _you did send her some premature reassurance._

Steeling my nerves for what felt like the hundredth time that day, I turned. His eyes locked into mine immediately, and I read all kinds of things in them. Triumph. Worry. Nervousness.

“So,” I started, thankful that I did not sound as faint as I felt. “What’s your name? I asked you that once before, but I’m starting to think that maybe I didn’t get a truthful answer.”

His eyes widened, as if he couldn’t believe I was speaking to him, and then he smiled. It was a beautiful smile, almost mischievous, and it lit up his scarred face like sunlight on the mountains.

“Zuko,” he answered me, almost tenderly. “My name is Zuko.”

“Zuko,” I rolled the name around in my mouth, testing it. “Zuko.”

He shifted again. I could feel heat coming off of him in waves, and as I looked away over the rooftops, I could see his gaze remaining on me out of the corner of my eye.

“So, uh,” he cleared his throat, glancing down at his lap. “You, um… remember me?”

I laughed, and he started, eyes rocketing back to my face. “Yes, I remember you.” I looked back at him, and the insides-melting feeling started all over again. _Agni_, he was like a magnet! I couldn’t look away for long, even if I wanted to. “You’re pretty impossible to forget.”

At that he colored, and his eyes fell back to his lap. “I’m relieved to hear you say so,” he said, voice low. “I thought for sure that you would have forgotten.”

“_You_ remembered _me,_” I pointed out. It was his turn to stare out towards the mountains, ornamented topknot glinting in the dying sun.

“Yes, I did. But that’s… different.”

“Not really… Zuko,” I tried it. His lips curved into another smile, and damn if they didn’t look inviting. I pinched myself again.

“I like hearing you say it,” he said, seemingly without thinking. Then he blushed again.

Another silence settled over us, slightly less awkward, but so full of questions it was amazing that we weren’t crushed by its weight. Instead of speaking, we both stared at the sunset, throwing its glowing rays over the tin rooftops. It was a sight I had seen a thousand times, and yet, somehow, it never got old. Tonight was especially beautiful, gold and violet streaks shooting through the orange like paint smeared on a celestial canvas.

“Isn’t it lovely?” I asked softly.

I saw his head turn quickly, and he looked at me strangely for a moment. “Yeah,” he murmured, turning to look straightforward again. “It really is.”

A part of me, a small, completely irrational part, hoped that he would take my hand, or maybe even take me in his arms. But that was insanity, I reminded myself quickly. All of this was insanity.

He sighed, as if he knew what I was thinking, and turned to face me. “So, I… I guess I have some explaining to do.”

“Yeah,” I answered truthfully. “You really do, because I could not be more confused if I tried. What am I supposed to call you? ‘My lord’? ‘Fire Lord Zuko’?”

At this he looked positively alarmed, and I couldn’t help but laugh. “Zuko, please.” He cleared his throat. “_Just_ Zuko.”

And then he really did take my hand, and I felt like I was floating. 

“Sorry,” he muttered. “But to be honest with you, I’m pretty nervous.”

I smiled and shook my head, taking his hand in both of mine before I had even thought twice about it. That warmth I remembered was burning along his skin, but now I knew it was no fever. “The _Fire Lord_ is nervous to be with _me_?” I laughed. “That’s a good one.” I shook my head again, dazed. “Wait until I tell Yu and Takan.”

“I’m not really the Fire Lord right now,” he muttered. “I’m just me.”

He looked up, and I was struck all over again by how handsome he was. Somehow the scar almost enhanced it, adding a darkness, some mystery. But at the moment, all was forgotten in place of the sincere earnestness written all over his features. He squeezed my hand, and I didn’t pull away.

“Where do I begin?” he let out a shaky breath and squared his shoulders. “Firstly, I owe you an apology.”

“What for?”

“For not being honest with you. And for being a pretty bad date,” he added, looking rather ashamed of himself. “I don’t know why I didn’t just say I breathed fire when you asked what I did in the circus.”

My laugh died in my throat. “You can breathe fire?”

“Yeah,” he said offhandedly. “But I really apologize, Jin. When we met, I was going through a pretty hard time. I was still trying to figure out who I was. My uncle knew that, but I didn’t. I don’t think I was as agreeable a companion as I should have been. Much less agreeable than you, that’s for sure.”

“Maybe it’s just in your nature,” I said, resisting the urge to brush a strand of black hair off his forehead. “There was some pretty serious complaining coming out of that palanquin.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose, cringing. “Hey, I was worried, okay? I didn’t even know if I was going to find you.”

“And why _did_ you want to find me, anyway?” I asked softly.

He glanced down at his hand in both of mine. “Maybe I should… explain a little more before I answer that question.”

I nodded, and, on impulse, swept my thumb over the back of his hand, his skin dry and warm underneath my fingers. _This was real. Lee -- Zuko -- had remembered me. He’d come after me._

“So your uncle… that really was your uncle?”

He nodded, a half-smile ghosting his face. “Yes, that’s my Uncle Iroh. He really is the best tea-maker in the four nations, but he also used to be a Fire Nation general and the heir to the throne. They sometimes call him the Dragon of the West, I don’t know if you’ve heard of him.” He glanced at me, examining my expression. _Mo-Shi was the Dragon of the West?_

“I’ve heard of him, alright.” I shrugged. “I guess if Lee is the Fire Lord, there’s no reason Mo-Shi can’t be the Dragon of the West. What’s one more bit of craziness today?”

He laughed, a small, rueful laugh. “I’m sorry. I know this must be a lot.”

“It really is,” I agreed. “But go on.”

“Well,” he exhaled, “to make a long story short, I was born a prince. I was exiled from the Fire Nation at thirteen, and eventually I ended up here with my uncle. I was on the wrong path, and I had to figure that out for myself.” His fingers tightened slightly around mine, and I knew that whatever had happened, it was painful for him to relate. “But I eventually did. I went back to the Fire Nation with Aang -- the Avatar. And I fought alongside him to end this war. In the end, I kind of… ended back up with my birthright,” he shrugged. 

I digested this. “So… is that where you went, when you left Ba Sing Se? To go be with the Avatar? I asked everyone about you and your uncle. I couldn’t find you anywhere.”

Even I could hear the choke in my voice. He glanced at me, brilliant eyes full of concern, and something like wonder. 

“You… looked for me?”

“Yes,” I said, almost defiantly. “Of course I did.”

He stared at our joined hands again for a moment. “Well, no, I’m sorry to say that when I left Ba Sing Se, it was for my father to welcome me home with open arms.” There was a definite edge of bitterness creeping into his voice now. “I made a mistake. I had to go home, then leave, and then go home again before I finally figured it out.”

“And now you’re here.”

“And now I’m here,” he repeated quietly.

I looked at him, and he looked at me. The dark blue twilight preceding night had fallen, and the air on the roof was cold. Only the heat of his irises, like golden twin flames, and the warmth of his hand under mine kept me from shivering. The longer we gazed at each other, the louder the rushing in my ears became, until I was sure I would fall headlong into his eyes.

There were more questions to be asked, and more explanations to be given -- many more. But for right now, just allowing myself to accept that this was reality was making me so overwhelmingly giddy that I could hardly contain myself. _He was here. Really here._

“Hey,” I whispered, and now I really did brush that strand of hair off his forehead, my fingertips grazing his skin. He closed his eyes, like a cat being pet. “Do you want to go to the Firelight Fountain?”

He smiled under my touch. “I think that we should.”

With one last glance at each other, we parted hands reluctantly. Even with him right here in front of me, to not be touching made me doubt that it was all real, made me wonder if the events of the evening were just some fantasy my lonely mind had dreamed up. But he didn’t dissipate as I let go of him, simply rising to a crouch, which I took as a good sign. Before I had time to offer the ladder, he had leapt off the roof and down into the street as silently as a thought.

“Well, I’m going to take the ladder,” I declared. “Meet me around back.”

“Oh. Yeah. A ladder,” he said sheepishly, looking up at me. “That would make sense.”

The bad patches of shingles were an even more foreboding prospect in the dark, and I made my way across the roof cautiously. The wind was high, and I shivered when I finally hit the cobblestones. I could hear the drafts whistling through the cracks in the walls, blowing through my house with a groan. 

“We should go,” I said, teeth chattering. “My parents will be home soon, and I don’t think I could explain all of this to them in one evening.”

“Do you want to get another robe first?” he asked, gesturing towards the back door. “It’s cold out here.”

Embarrassment swept me, and I turned my eyes to my slippers. Of course it wouldn’t occur to him, but… “This is all I have,” I muttered. “I’ve only got one for winter.”

“I’m sorry,” he said quickly. “Forget I said anything.”

There was a _clink_ of a metal clasp, and then a heavy burgundy robe, intricately embroidered and much too big for me, was being settled around my shoulders. The warmth from his body permeated the fabric, and it was relief akin to sinking into a hot bath. I gaped for a moment at the gold thread and the Fire Nation emblem sitting somewhere around my upper stomach -- _was that gold plated?_ \-- before snapping my gaze up to him.

“Zuko! I can’t wear this!”

He frowned, now just in his tunic, collar, and epaulets. With his dual broadswords, he looked like a true warrior prince. “Why not?”

“Well… because.” I ran my thumb over the overlarge cuff, the gold braid foreign under my fingers. “This is the Fire Lord’s. I can’t wear the _Fire Lord’s_ royal robe. I’m an Earth Kingdom peasant, remember?”

“And who’s going to tell you no?” he grinned. “The only person with enough power to do that just gave it to you, and he thinks you look wonderful in it.”

I blushed. “But… won’t you be cold?”

He shook his head, flexing his fingers. “No. I don’t really… _get_ cold.”

“Must be nice,” I muttered. But I was now very warm indeed. I breathed in deeply, Lee’s -- _Zuko’s_ \-- scent of spices and smoke filling my nose, bringing back memories that had cropped up in my dreams more than once in recent months. Sighing happily, I reached for his hand. It was given readily.

“Let’s go, _my Lord._”

He made a face at me and I laughed, pulling him down the street.

It was the easiest time I had ever had making my way through the crowds of Ba Sing Se. Between his robe around my shoulders and the finery adorning him from head to toe, Zuko and I were far and away the most expensively dressed people for miles around. The throng parted before us, and whispers spouted in our wake.

_”Was that -- did you see?”_

_“What’s he doing in the Lower Ring? And who’s that girl with him?”_

_“... the _Fire Lord_?” _

Some people even sank into low bows as we passed by, eyes glued reverently to the emblem in his topknot. It gave me a very funny feeling, indeed, to be walking side-by-side with such a man.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have come dressed like this,” he muttered. “I didn’t think about it.”

But it wasn’t just how he was dressed that made people stop and stare. It was that indefinable _something_ that I had noticed all those months ago in the tea shop, the way that he carried himself. Now it made sense -- he was royalty, and he looked it. Even if he had been dressed in Earth Kingdom browns, he would have attracted attention with his long black hair and golden eyes, not to mention his scar. 

“Maybe not,” I whispered back. “But you look very lordly and handsome.”

It was his turn to blush.

As strange as it was to be making my way to the Firelight Fountain with the Fire Lord by my side, what I found even stranger was how _right_ it felt. It was as if something I had lost had been returned to me, a gaping hole fitted with just the right piece. His hand in mine felt natural, like it was meant to be there all along. I couldn’t feel the chill of the night anymore; I was walking on air. 

As we turned the corner, I could see the glow of the fountain up ahead. _Thank Dekax the lanterns were actually lit this time!_ The closer we got, the louder the crowds around us became -- tonight must be a good night for romance. Zuko’s pointed epaulets were still parting the seas effectively, though, and I drew closer to him, basking in the handsome profile of his face. He glanced at me, and I didn’t look away.

“It’s beautiful,” he murmured as we entered the glowing square. “Even better than I remember.”

There were couples everywhere, bathed in candlelight and the reflections on the water. Amber, gold, and black mixed, and it seemed that even the dark velvet sky and the ground were trying to embrace. Warm in Zuko’s robe and the heat of his presence, I barely noticed when the chatter around us began to die down and more and more pairs of eyes turned our way. For me there could only be two real things in the world in this moment -- the man next to me and the _feeling_ between us, the pull that had led him across an ocean to find me. Whatever happened tomorrow, for once in my life I was completely sure of one thing: I was in the right place.

Taking both my hands, he turned me to face him. A smile played across his features, softening his expression and the dark outline of his scar. 

“You’re radiant,” he said quietly, never taking his eyes off of me. “I can’t believe that I’m here with you.”

“Thank you,” I breathed. “I can’t believe it either.”

“I’m starting to think that my uncle was right.”

I laughed. “I think your uncle is probably often right.”

“He is.”

“What do you think he was right about this time?”

“That if you want something, you must reach out for it,” he murmured. His gaze darted down to my lips, then back up to my eyes. “And that it takes two flints to make a fire.”

“I don’t think I’ll be needing flints anymore, with you around,” I whispered. He was so close, close enough that I could see the flecks of amber around his pupils. 

“Maybe not,” he whispered back. “But it never hurts to have a backup.” 

And then he was kissing me, and it was better than the last time, so much better, because both of his arms were around me, holding me close, and the expanse of so many lonely months behind me seemed to wash away in the heat. There was nothing, nothing at all, except his body so near mine, and his lips, soft and hot against my own. They pressed gently, tenderly, and I felt my very bones melt into the ground. 

When he pulled away, he looked at me, eyes roving over my face to gauge my reaction. I could feel the slight part of my lips, the blood rushing through them, and I was certain that I looked every bit the wanton street urchin that I had become. 

“_Agni_ in heaven,” he whispered, gazing down at me. “I could kiss you forever.”

My stomach leapt into my throat, my heart pounding so hard I was sure I was sending vibrations through the earth. His look was so intense I felt like a butterfly pinned to a corkboard -- and I had no desire at all to get free. “I wish that you would.”

He bent his head again. We took no notice of the quiet around us. Only one thing mattered.

My missing puzzle piece had come back to me; I had drawn the Lord of Flames. Without ever meaning to, I had played the game of luck -- and tonight, I had won.


	4. Striking Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “The Upper Ring?” I gaped at him, temporarily robbed of speech. “I can’t go to the Upper Ring.”
> 
> “You don’t want to? That’s okay,” he said quickly.
> 
> “No, no,” I corrected him, embarrassed. “I’d like to go. But I can’t. I’m not allowed.”
> 
> “Sure you can,” he said blankly. “You’re with me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sheepishly takes 'a collection of one-shots' out of the summary of this fic*
> 
> Okay, so as anyone but me could have predicted, this story has grown way beyond what I originally intended it to be. But I'm okay with that. Also, it's becoming the most shamelessly self-indulgent thing I've ever written. I'm okay with that too, so I hope you are!
> 
> These chapters just keep getting longer and longer. Enjoy, and reviews are always encouraging! <3

The sun was rising — I could feel the glow of it coming through the window, fresh and pale on the walls of my bedroom. But I didn’t open my eyes. I didn’t want to wake up. I had been having such a good dream.

I snuggled further into my covers, trying fruitlessly to keep the chill out with the thin flannel. I had been so warm in my dream, wrapped in the _Fire Lord’s robe_, of all things. I fixed my mind on all that had happened, as if trying to relive it one more time in my imagination. The strength of his arms, the heat of his kisses… Just a little bit longer, to pretend that I was warm and safe, and cared about by the person I thought of most…

The sun rose slowly but surely. I could feel it break over the horizon as light streamed in, warming the floor and making sleep impossible. My parents would have left already, and soon I would have to take up my usual place at the loom. 

“Okay,” I muttered to myself. “I’m getting up.”

I sat up, opening my eyes. The room was indeed filled with sunlight, glancing off the window panes, catching dust in the air, and — my breath caught in my throat. _And glinting off of the gold braid of Fire Nation finery, hanging on the peg by my door._

I stared, and then I began to smile. Leaping out of bed, I crossed the room and grabbed a cuff in my hand, just to make sure it was really there. It was. The silk was cool to the touch, the gold-plated emblem chilled after spending the night in a drafty room. I buried my face in the folds, breathing in Zuko’s scent. _It was real. It was all real._

Happiness blossomed inside me, growing and growing until I was sure I would jump up and down and whoop for joy. Instead, I took the robe carefully off the peg and wrapped it around my shoulders, laughing to myself. It had all happened, and how much brighter the world looked because of it! I danced around my bedroom, turning and twirling in the sunlight. _Real, real, real. He was real._

My reverie was broken by a knock at the door. Catching my breath, I hung Zuko’s robe back up reluctantly, the rich smell of wood smoke still clinging to me slightly. Covering my nightgown with my own winter robe, rough and decidedly less fragrant, I made my way to the window; but when I looked out, my stomach backflipped. It was Takan, a basket of bread strapped to his back. Spirits, I hadn’t even _thought_ about how I was going to explain all of this to him! I bit my lip, weighing my options. I could pretend I just wasn’t home — but that would be cowardly. _Besides,_ I scolded myself, _he doesn’t even know that all of this has happened. You can worry about explaining later._ I was sure the events of the last twenty-four hours would show on my face — how could I hide the giddiness that was threatening to spill out of me at every turn? — but I had no choice. Nothing in his world had changed, and just for a little while, I was going to have to try and act the part.

I took a deep breath, marshalled my feelings, and opened the door.

“Oh good, you’re home!” Takan beamed, straightening from his slouch against the doorframe as soon as he saw me. “How’d you sleep?”

“Really well,” I smiled back. The cold air from the street drifted in, making me shiver. “Thanks for bringing the bread by.”

He nodded, handing it over. “No problem. Listen,” he glanced around and lowered his voice. “Seven Lilies tonight? I have some serious gossip to share with you two.”

My stomach flopped again involuntarily, the burlap of the bread bag scratching my skin as I tightened my grip on it. “What kind of gossip?”

“Well,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows, “you’ll hear about it as soon as you go out on the street today, so I guess I’m lucky that I get to be the first to tell you, anyway. The whole city is talking about it.”

“Talking about what?” I urged. “Don’t keep me in suspense.”

“Well,” he said again, glancing over his shoulder, “I can’t stay very long, because I’m already late meeting my dad at the tailor’s. But I’ll give you the gist. Remember how I told you last week that I heard the Fire Lord was coming to Ba Sing Se?”

If my stomach had flopped before, it was now positively cartwheeling. I nodded.

“I was right. He showed up yesterday. But you know what people are saying he was doing last night?”

_Uh oh._ “What?” I asked, dreading the answer.

“He was at the Firelight Fountain,” Takan said gleefully. “He was at the _Firelight Fountain_, in the _Lower Ring._ And,” he continued, with the air of producing a particularly large sweet, “he was with a _girl_. And not just any girl — a peasant girl, from the Earth Kingdom. And he was _kissing her_. Pretty thoroughly, too, from what I hear,” he added thoughtfully. “What do you think of that?”

My cheeks were burning. I could only pray he didn’t notice. “Are you sure that’s what you heard?”

“Positive,” he answered triumphantly. “A whole bunch of people saw it. Pretty crazy, huh?” he grinned. “I wonder how _that_ happened. Just imagine it — the Fire Lord in the Lower Ring, with somebody like us!” 

“Yeah,” I said, my mouth dry. “Imagine that.”

“Well, I’m sure we’ll hear more details tonight at the pub.” He hoisted his empty basket back onto his shoulder. “Meet here at eight, walk over together?”

“Yeah,” I said, still trying to regain mastery over my tongue. “Yeah, okay.”

“Awesome. Tell Yu if you see her. Bye Jin, see you later!”

“Bye,” I called. “Good luck at the tailor’s!”

And then I shut the door. 

My cheeks were still hot, and I pressed my palms to them in consternation. _Damn!_ If Takan was right, and the ‘whole city’ was talking about me and Zuko, that meant Yu had probably heard about it too. I walked to the kitchen as if in a trance, and tucked the bread away into the cupboard. I _really_ needed to talk to her. If there was ever a time I needed the guidance of an older sister, it was now. But would she think I was wrong for not telling Takan right away? I bit my lip again. I hoped not. How _could_ I have, when he had sprung it on me like that?

_Think!_ I told myself firmly. Okay. First I would wash up. Then I would go find Yu. I would check the market first, and then her house. If I couldn’t find her, I would leave her a note. Yes, that was what I would do.

Mind made up, I turned, only to have my thoughts interrupted again.

_Tap tap tap!_

“_Spirits!_” I cursed. “What now?”

With quick steps I strode back to the door. I yanked it open, not even bothering to look out the window first, and then immediately wished that I had.

A group of at least ten men stared back at me, headed by a Fire Nation soldier, who bowed low under my gaze. I blushed immediately. To be _bowed_ to, like a _superior!_ It was ridiculous, considering that I was arguably as far under him in station as he was under Zuko. I bowed back, embarrassed.

“Good morning, Lady,” he said. “I apologize for calling on you at home with such a large group, but I am under orders.”

“Not at all,” I murmured. “Can I offer you all anything to drink?”

To serve them all would take every bit of tea my family had, but I couldn’t forget my manners. To my relief, however, he smiled and shook his head.

“It’s kind of you to offer, but no, thank you. We’ve eaten already.” He motioned to one of the group, who stepped forward with a scroll and a large box in his hands. “These are for you, from the Fire Lord.”

I blushed again, curiosity stirring in my stomach, and took them. “Thank you.”

“We,” he gestured to the group behind him, “are going to be here for a while; we have orders to work on the roof. Please let us know if we can do anything at all for you.”

I grasped my box tightly. “The roof?”

“Yes,” he inclined his head. “Bad shingles and drafty foundations are not a good mix with the Earth Kingdom winter.”

My heart soared even as my stomach plummeted. It would be wonderful to have the house fixed, wonderful to not be cold at the loom during the day, or in bed at night. But there was just no way my father could afford to have the work done. _But how am I supposed to say that to a group of men queuing at my front door with construction tools?_

The Fire Nation soldier, who had been watching my face, inclined his head again. “The Fire Lord has taken care of the costs, Lady,” he said softly, careful tact in every syllable of his voice. “Please don’t trouble yourself about that.”

Relief, astonishment, and rapture filled me, each in no small measure, and for a moment, I was speechless._Just wait until I get my hands on that boy._

“Thank you,” I squeaked.

He bowed. “We’ll begin now. Just call if you need anything.”

I nodded and retreated back into the house as quickly as I could without slamming the door.

_Almighty Agni!_ I leaned against the wall, hugging my box to my chest, and didn’t even try to stop the goofy, blissful grin from spreading over my face. Already my life was changing drastically, and for the better. We had had a bad roof and drafty walls for as long as I could remember. _What were my parents going to say when they came home to a freshly repaired house?_ With any luck, they’d be just as shocked and overjoyed as I was — but that could all wait for later. I closed my eyes and allowed my knees to fold, sinking down the wall into a cross-legged position. My curiosity over the items in my hands was demanding to be satisfied. First, the scroll. I unrolled it onto my knee and bent over the bold, slanting handwriting.

_Jin, _  
_I had a wonderful time last night. I’ve been nervous for weeks planning this journey, and your acceptance took real open-mindedness. Thank you for that. ___  
_The men I’ve sent over are some of my best soldiers and workers. You can trust them. I’m paying my due duty to the Earth King this morning, while I’m here; it would be shameful if the Fire Lord came to Ba Sing Se and did not call on him, at least for an hour or two. I would really like to see you again today — if that’s possible, I’ll call at your house around three o’ clock. If you’re not there, I’ll know you were unavailable._  
_I hope you like this gift. If not, we can go back together sometime and pick out a different one. Yours,  
Zuko_

_ __ _

__

I read and re-read the note twice, my eyes lingering on the signature. _“Zuko, please. Just Zuko.”_ Seeing his name written out to me by his own hand, with no seal and no title, set a warmth aglow beneath my ribcage. 

“Yours,” I read softly. I couldn’t help it. I grinned again.

Setting the scroll down, I turned my attention to the box in my lap. It was beautiful, made of balsa wood and embossed with designs of trees and flowers. With eager fingers I untied the green silk around it, letting it fall to the floor. When I lifted the lid, I gasped. 

It was a winter robe, but a hundred times finer than any I had ever owned or seen around me in the Lower Ring. Made from more emerald green silk and lined with cashmere, the geometric design reflected duochrome blue in the morning sunlight. Fingers trembling slightly, I lifted it from the crackly tissue paper it was wrapped in and allowed its folds to unfurl to the floor. The high collar was blue silk edged in gold, with a gold fastening and more gold trim around the hem. I lifted a sleeve and examined it, awestruck. 

“_Dekax_,” I muttered. “What kind of dream am I living in now?”

From above me, I could hear footsteps on the roof, and men’s voices calling to each other. A heavy hammering began somewhere over the kitchen. 

I ran to my room, discarding my outer layer, and threw on my new one. It was beyond a doubt the softest piece of clothing I had ever worn, and in a fit of disbelief I rubbed my cheek along the sleeve, marvelling at the smoothness of the silk. That he had done all of this in the space of a morning, and done it for _me_... I gazed at my reflection dreamily, my thoughts falling on his face. _And he wants to see you again today._

“You,” I pointed at myself in the mirror, “are the luckiest girl in all of the four nations.”

But there were things to be done before I could reunite with my Fire Lord. I washed up quickly and left through the back door, the sound of hammering on my roof still reaching me as I turned the corner. I was now so finely dressed that I knew whispers and stares were bound to follow me through the streets of the Lower Ring — but I didn’t care. I was going to wear Zuko’s gift every winter day until it fell apart on my shoulders.

The market was more crowded than usual, with small clusters of people queued up around stalls, talking. As I passed through, heading for Yu’s family’s usual spot, snatches of conversation drifted over to me.

“Yeah, that’s what I heard, too. At the Firelight Fountain…”

“Does anybody know who the girl was?”

“I don’t.”

“Me either. No one seems to.”

I started, blushing violently. Takan was right — they really _were_ talking about me on the streets. Ducking my head, I hurried through the crowds. Luckily, everyone was so busy discussing the Fire Lord and his mystery peasant from the night before that none of them seemed to notice the strangely well-dressed girl walking through their midst. With a rush of relief, I spotted Yu, closing a sale at her family’s stall, and made a beeline for her. When she looked up, her eyes widened to the size of dinner plates.

“Uh, wow.”

“Yeah,” I said sheepishly. “Hi.”

“Hi yourself,” she answered, looking me up and down in disbelief. “What in the name of the spirits happened last night?” She glanced over her shoulder at the throngs of people and shook her head. “The things I’ve been hearing today, Jin…”

“I know,” I said nervously. “I’m sorry. I knew you were worried so I tried to send you a message.”

“I know. I got it,” she answered. Her eyes were still wide. “I knew you were okay, at least, but by Tui, I could not be more confused.”

“I know,” I said again, biting my lip. “I can explain.”

“This calls for closing up shop,” she declared, and shut her register. “Some things are more important.”

Ten minutes later we were walking side-by-side down Dai Street in the morning sunlight. Yu clasped her hands in front of her like a scholar, ready to listen.

“Okay, go ahead. You had better have a good explanation, ‘cause I’ve been trying to think of one for the past day and I’ve come up with nothing.”

And so I began. I told her of my date with the mysterious, scarred boy a year ago, and the pull I had felt towards him. How sure I had felt that there was more to his story. How he had lit the lanterns at the Firelight Fountain and how he had kissed me back, only to leave without an explanation. I told her how I had thought ceaselessly of him, how I had gone back to the tea shop, how I had searched and asked for him and his uncle in the streets. The weight of my words hit me as I spoke, and I was overcome with realizing all over again just how devastated I had been at his disappearance. 

“You and Takan have special places in my heart,” I croaked. “But after that date… I don’t know. When I couldn’t find him, I just felt like I’d _lost_ something.”

She grabbed my hand. “I know. It’s not the same.” Her eyes were sad, understanding, and curious all at the same time. “Okay, so you went on a date with a grumpy boy with a huge scar. But I don’t understand how he’s suddenly the Fire Lord.”

I laughed the choke out of my voice. “Well, he seems a lot less grumpy now.”

I continued my story, relating my climb to the roof after her warning, and my shock when I’d seen his face. 

“I can’t even imagine,” Yu whispered. “So he just came back later?”

“No. I sat up and told him I was there.”

“You _did?_” She looked at me incredulously. “Damn, girl. You’ve always had guts.”

“Well, I never said that I wasn’t nervous,” I grinned. “And then I asked him for an explanation, of course…”

When I had finished my story, Yu was quiet for a long time. We walked another block before she spoke.

“What’s his name again?”

“Zuko.”

She looked at me sideways, a knowing glint in her eyes.

“What?” I demanded.

“You’ve got it bad, don’t you?” She grinned, elbowing me playfully in the side. “Ooooh, you do! I can tell by the way you said his name. Jin’s in looooove!”

“Stop it,” I giggled, squirming away and feeling the heat rise in my cheeks. “So what if I am?”

“So what, indeed,” she said, smoothing her kimono. “The thing is, everybody knows that the Fire Lord was at the fountain kissing some girl last night, it’s just that nobody knows it was you. But his soldiers were asking about you by name in the market yesterday, it can’t be too long before people put two and two together…”

“That’s another thing,” I said worriedly. “Takan came by the house this morning.”

Her eyes got round again. “Oh, spirits.”

“Yeah.” I pinched the bridge of my nose. “He said he had some major gossip to tell me, and then proceeded to talk all about the Fire Lord and how he was kissing a peasant girl last night.”

“He didn’t know it was you, did he?”

“No, and I didn’t tell him, either.” I looked at her anxiously. “You don’t think that was wrong, do you? I was just so caught off guard, I didn’t know what to say. I kept hoping that an opening to tell him would present itself, and it never did.”

“No,” she said slowly. “No, I definitely don’t think you were wrong. But he’s got to find out sooner or later.”

“Yeah. He does. And he wants the three of us to go to the Seven Lilies at eight tonight. Do you think…”

“...that you should just bring Zuko along?” she finished. “Yeah, honestly, I do.”

“Really?” Relief washed over me. “I’m glad, because I have no idea what else to do.”

“Oh La, this is going to be so _weird!_” she scrunched up her nose. “I can’t hang out at the pub with the _Fire Lord!_”

“Sure you can,” I teased. “If I can kiss the Fire Lord, you can share a round with him.”

“I can’t believe you kissed the _Fire Lord!_” she squealed, and for a moment I remembered that we were just teenage girls. “This is completely insane!”

“Shh!” I intoned. “I know, it’s crazy, but I don’t want all of Ba Sing Se to know.”

Yu rolled her eyes. “Oh please, Jin. Have you taken a look at how you’re dressed? I’m pretty sure that the only way a merchant brat ends up like this is if she kisses the Fire Lord.”

“Oh, and that reminds me,” I practically bounced. “Guess what else he did for me this morning?”

“Tell.”

“Right after Takan left, a _construction crew_ showed up at my house — they’re there right now, fixing our bad roof. He hired them and paid them already.”

“You’re _joking_.” Yu actually stopped and stared at me.

“Nope,” I said gleefully. “No more freezing to death in the winter.”

“This cannot be real life,” she shook her head. “I hope you’re saying your prayers to Dekax.”

“Oh, I am,” I said fervently. “It’s all happened so fast that I’m afraid it’s not even real.”

She nodded, going quiet again for a minute. “So what’s his flaw? Is he ugly or something?”

“Just you wait until you see him,” I told her seriously. “I’ve never seen a more handsome man.”

“So… how’d he get the scar?”

I picked at the hem of my sleeve, even though there were no loose threads. “I don’t know. It hasn’t seemed like the right time to ask yet. I don’t even know why he was banished from the Fire Nation.”

“It’s probably best that you haven’t asked,” she said wisely. “I bet people ask him how he got it all the time. He’s probably sick of it.”

We walked and talked until the sun was high in the sky. When I finally dropped her back off at the market, a smile was glowing on her face.

“I can tell how happy you are.” She embraced me briefly. “And I’ve seen you in love before. I don’t want to speak too soon, but I think there’s something special about this time.”

“I think so too,” I whispered back as we parted. “I really hope so.”

Yu glanced up at the pale winter sky. Her eyes were far away. “Jin,” she said quietly, “when the universe, when the _spirits_ move heaven and earth to bring two people together like this, I have to believe that it’s special. I know that it is.”

* * *

As soon as he saw me, Zuko’s face broke into a smile, his golden eyes lighting up. “Wow. You look wonderful.”

I turned, gathering the folds of my new robe around me playfully. “You think so?”

True to his word, he had knocked on my door at three o’ clock, and had looked so relieved and smitten when I opened the door that it took everything in me not to kiss him for a good long while right in front of his royal guards.

“I know so,” he said, settling back against one of our awning supports with a look of utmost satisfaction on his face. “Do you like the one I picked?”

“It’s perfect,” I smiled. “Thank you so much. I don’t know how I can ever repay you for what you’ve done for me.”

He waved a hand, looking vaguely embarrassed. “Please. You’re paying me back right now just by being here.”

I took his hand and he blinked down at me, surprised. He was in full Fire Lord regalia again today, a red silk robe brushing the toes of his boots and a heavy formal collar around his shoulders. The Fire Nation insignia gleamed gold both on his chest and in his topknot, and more gold embroidery wandered from his collar to the tips of his winged epaulets. He radiated power, and yet as he gazed down at me, he looked so young and shy. Moved, I raised myself to my tiptoes and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. 

“And I’m so glad that you’re here with me.”

Pale pink rose to his fair cheeks. “Better you than the Earth King.”

I laughed. “What, you don’t like him?”

Zuko grimaced, still holding my hand as we left my front door and walked out to his palanquin. “He’s alright. He’s just… not the brightest, I guess. He hasn’t truly been involved in running his country for a long time, so he’s still adjusting.”

He held the door of the palanquin open for me, and I stared. “What, just get in?”

“Yes,” he said, raising his eyebrow slightly. I got the feeling he was trying not to smirk. “Unless you’d rather walk to the Upper Ring, that is.”

“The Upper Ring?” I gaped at him, temporarily robbed of speech. “I can’t go to the Upper Ring.”

“You don’t want to? That’s okay,” he said quickly. “I was thinking we could go to the gardens, or the shops. But we can stay down here, if you’d like. I’ve heard there are some good restaurants, although you’d know better than me — ”

“No, no,” I interrupted, embarrassed. “I’d like to go. But I can’t. I’m not allowed.”

“Sure you can,” he said blankly. “You’re with me.”

“But I don’t have a passport, or any papers at all,” I said skeptically. “Are you sure?”

He nodded. “You’d be surprised what this,” he pointed to the gold in his topknot, “lets you get away with.”

I shook my head, a sudden wave of seriousness quieting my feelings. “I can’t even imagine what that’s like.” With the help of Zuko’s outstretched hand, I stepped into the palanquin. He waited until we were settled inside to answer.

“It can get a little overwhelming for me, too,” he said softly. “But the key is knowing the extent of your power, and recognizing when to use it.”

Even the palanquin was stunning. The seat, large enough to comfortably accommodate two people, was covered in dark velvet with ornately carved wooden arms. The drapes around and above us were red silk, just as fine as his robes. I tried not to look too much like the stunned peasant girl that I was, but I couldn’t help it. I had never seen such luxury in my life, let alone been on the receiving end of it. 

“Can I put my arm around you?” 

His voice, shy again, cut through my thoughts. Turning, my eyes fell onto his face, so very close to my own, and I felt my heart melt at the sight of the anxiety across his handsome features. _Here I am, worrying about finery, and he’s nervous about asking to hold me._

“Please do.”

His fingers curled around my shoulder just as the palanquin was lifted and I jarred a little, falling even closer against his body. That wonderful floaty feeling was filling my head again and I settled more firmly against him, resisting the urge to purr like a cat; I could feel hard lines of muscle underneath his robes, sense the lithe outline of his body next to me. Most striking of all was his _warmth_ — it didn’t matter that the palanquin had no insulation. The heat of him seeped through the fabric between us and into my skin, warming me from head to toe.

It was strange to think that we were moving through my city, in such a drastically different way than I was used to. I could hear the bustling of the crowds around us, talking and shouting to each other, and I felt my heart go out to the people of the Lower Ring. Curiously, I parted the curtain of the palanquin and gazed out. It was very strange being so high up, staring out over the hundreds of heads around us. I was scanning faces, trying to find anyone I might know, when I felt a light touch on my shoulder. I looked back at Zuko, who looked like he was trying hard not to smile.

"Um, not that you can't, if you want to, but typically you don't open the sides of a palanquin when you're moving."

"Oh," I felt myself blush, and dropped the drape quickly. "Sorry. I didn't know."

"It's no big deal," he said, and I saw the corner of his mouth twitch. "I just thought I'd tell you."

"Uh, yeah. Thanks," I settled back into the seat, trying to brush off my embarrassment in favor of enjoying his warmth. “So you really are a firebender, then?” I looked up at him curiously to find him already looking back at me, a smile still playing around his lips. The palanquin began to move. “I thought you must have been, last year, but I’ve never actually seen you do it.”

At this, he did smile. “Yeah.” I stared as he raised his other hand, forming a fist, and then opened it. Flames, orange and white, danced across his palm. I stared. I had seen plenty of imperial Fire Nation troops in my day and seen plenty of destruction at their hands, but in spite of the fear, the nature of firebending was still striking to me. It wasn’t like earth, or water — he had simply willed the fire there, and it had sprung into existence. I watched, fascinated, as the little flames twisted and grew, twirling around each other like skylarks. After a moment, I glanced at Zuko. He wasn’t even watching what he was doing — instead, he was looking at me, clearly enjoying the wonder in my face. Our eyes locked, and he closed his hand, extinguishing the flames in a breath.

“Where does it come from?”

The question had escaped me before I had had time to consider it, and I flushed at how naive I sounded.

“What, the fire?”

I nodded, and he furrowed his brow, considering his answer. “A couple of different places, I guess. My uncle could do a better job explaining it to you, but I’ll try. The very first thing you learn as a firebender is that bending comes from the breath.” He breathed deeply, in and out, as if showing me. “The breath is very important, because without it, you have no control. It also comes from the sun, as well as the heat of the earth. But most of all, firebending comes from within, and that’s why it’s so different from the other four bending arts. If you’re going to be powerful, your inner fire has to burn bright.”

As he spoke, he raised his hand again, and a little ball of orange fire bloomed just above his palm. As I watched, it seemed to pulse lightly, almost like a heartbeat. _Inner fire._

I looked up at him again. “I guess your inner fire must be pretty hot, then.”

He gave a short laugh. I felt my heart skip a beat with the sound of it. “What makes you say that?”

I could feel us beginning to move uphill, the slight bounce of the palanquin making me more aware than ever of the man I was being jostled into. He didn’t seem to mind. “Well,” I said slowly, “a while back, after the war ended, I heard a story in a bar about a prince who had to battle his firebending prodigy sister.”

Zuko looked at me quickly, the flames above his hand going out.

“At the time I thought it must have been exaggerated,” I continued, looking back at him. “But I’m realizing that that really happened, didn’t it? That was you.”

“Yes,” he said slowly. “That was me.” He had answered my question, but I was taken aback to see his expression growing serious. Uh oh. _Had I made a mistake in asking?_

“I’m sorry,” I said quickly. “If you don’t want to talk about it, I understand — ”

“No,” he interrupted. “It’s okay.” I watched as his hand drifted upwards and traced the Fire Nation emblem on his chest, almost as if he was only half-thinking about it. “Listen, Jin.” He fixed those striking eyes on my face, pinning me with his gaze just as he had the night before. “I don’t know how much you know about the war, or the Avatar, or me, for that matter. But you should know that I… that I haven’t always made the right decisions. I’ve made mistakes. Lots of them. And if you ever find something out and decide that you’re, well, not interested in me anymore, I’ll understand.”

His voice was steady, but his gaze betrayed his nervousness. I took his hand gently.

“I don’t think I could ever not be interested in you.”

He colored, but his voice was deadly serious. “I mean it.”

“I know,” I said softly. “There’s a lot I don’t know about you yet.” Pulling back from him slightly, I raised my own hand and laid it gingerly on his unscarred cheek. “That doesn’t mean I don’t want to find out.”

I saw his eyes widen as I touched him, and then they closed. “I just don’t know where to start,” he said quietly. I could feel his jaw move under my palm. “It’s not an easy story to tell.”

“Well, then don’t tell it right now,” I suggested. I let my hand drift upward to smooth over his one dark eyebrow, my thumb sweeping along the top of his ear. Unable to resist the heat of having him so close, I leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. They were just as warm and soft as I remembered from the night before. He blinked at me as I pulled away, surprise and pleasure shining out of his eyes, and I watched as he absentmindedly brushed his fingers along his mouth, smiling dazedly.

“Why do you always seem so surprised when I touch you?” I teased. “Is it really that bad?”

“What? No!” he exclaimed, looking horrified. Once he caught me laughing, his features relaxed into a more rueful expression. “I mean, no, of course not. It’s wonderful. It’s just that… well, I guess I’m not really used to it. Being touched, that is.”

I considered this for a moment, thinking of how often I hugged my parents after a long day, how natural it was for me and Yu to hold hands, and even how freely Takan distributed kisses on the cheek to both of us. It wasn’t something I had ever thought about before, but perhaps when you were royalty things couldn’t be quite so casual.

“Your family doesn’t touch you? Other than your sister, of course.”

Pain crossed his face. “Well, my Uncle Iroh tries to hug me sometimes.”

I giggled again, a picture of the kind Mo-Shi and his surly nephew standing at the counter of a tea shop appearing in my mind’s eye. “The key word being ‘tries’.” 

“Hey, I’ve gotten better!” he protested. “I’ve definitely learned to appreciate him more than I used to.” He shifted in his seat, his arm warm and steady around my shoulders. “But other than him, I don’t really have anyone that ever _wants_ to touch me. My father...” his face darkened. “You know what he’s like. He’ll be in prison for the rest of his miserable life. My sister is insane. And my mother, um, she’s not around anymore. I guess there’s Mai, my, uh,” he cleared his throat, “my ex-girlfriend, but she wasn’t exactly the touchy type.”

Something stirred in me — not jealousy, exactly, but a defensiveness. “Just tell me if you ever want me to stop. I won’t mind.”

“Please don’t,” he said earnestly, his gaze fixed openly on my face. Then as if remembering himself, he looked down a second later. “That is, as long as you don’t want to,” he muttered. “It’s nice to feel wanted.”

Warmth blossomed around my heart. _Should I say it?_ But the uncertainty in his voice had already made the decision for me. “Well, you definitely are,” I said quietly. “Wanted, that is.”

He looked up and heat rushed to my face as the dual meaning of my words hung in the air, our gazes locking again in that laser-focused way that it seemed only he could produce. There was something stirring in the depths of his eyes, something hot and almost dangerous, and suddenly I wished that I had the breath control of a firebender. Somehow, all of the air had been sucked out of the palanquin, and in an instant the space between us had become supercharged. 

“Sir?” There was a light knock on the frame of the palanquin, and we both jumped back. I hadn’t realized how close our lips had gotten again. “We’ve just passed into the Middle Ring.”

“Thank you,” Zuko called back hoarsely. My eyes widened. 

“They didn’t even stop us!”

“No,” he agreed. “They know that I’m in the city.”

“So anyway…” My head was spinning, and I did my best to right it quickly. “You and your sister didn’t get along when you were younger?”

“Never,” he shook his head. The charge between us cleared as quickly as it had come. “We were just too different. She was always calculating, and I was… well, I was a kid. And she was talented, an unbelievably talented firebender. My father loved that.”

There was a bitterness in his voice that I hadn’t heard before. “And… your mother?”

A smile ghosted his lips. “She was a wonderful woman. Kind, loving, caring. A real mediator. She had wisdom that none of my father’s advisors did, and she did her best to teach it to me. There is strength in being good, and power in being just.”

_So what happened to her?_ The question hung in the air between us, but I wouldn’t ask it. I wasn’t sure enough that he was ready. But even as I made that decision, he was speaking again.

“My father banished her.” I was relieved to hear that his voice was quite steady. “She left the Fire Nation when I was just a little kid. But it’s okay. I’ve been collecting information on her whereabouts, and someday soon, I’m going to go find her.”

I smiled at the determination in his voice. “I know that you will.”

He smiled back at me gratefully and, as if on impulse, reached out and tucked a lock of my hair behind my ear. “Thank you, Jin.”

The sweetness of his getsure caught me off guard, and I could feel myself glowing with his touch. “Am I allowed to ask why she was banished?”

“Maybe not yet,” he said carefully. “There’s a lot to understand before that part of it will make sense. But my duel with Azula, that, I can tell you about.”

“That’s your sister?”

“Yeah.” He stared straight ahead, as if he was seeing something I couldn’t. “What exactly did you hear about it?”

“Well, it was a storyteller’s tale. She said that at the end of the war, a young prince faced the daunting prospect of battling his powerful sister. But…” My mouth was suddenly dry as I watched his face. It was very strange indeed to think that the prince in the story and the boy sitting next to me were one in the same. “But she said that as they fought, his sister couldn’t land a blow, and that the prince had grown powerful with strength she knew not. She said… it was the only battle his sister had ever struggled to win. At the end, she used lightning even though she knew he could redirect it, because instead of attacking him, she was trying to take down the person with him.”

I watched as Zuko’s jaw set. “Well, I guess I don’t have much to tell you, then. That’s all true.”

“So that’s real?” I asked, trying not to sound too breathless. “You can redirect lightning?”

“Yes,” he answered, smiling a little half-smile. “My Uncle Iroh taught me.”

“Wow.”

He shrugged, trying to look modest. “I owe a lot to him.”

“So that’s how you became so powerful? Your uncle taught you?”

He squirmed. “Are we really talking about how powerful I am right now? This is embarrassing. But yeah, my uncle definitely taught me a lot during my banished years. He came with me, you know. But the real turning point was when I met the dragons.”

My heart stood still. “You met _dragons?_”

“Yes,” he answered quietly. “It’s very important you don’t mention this to anyone else, because there are still people that would hunt dragons for glory if they thought they could get the chance. But Aang and I met them this past summer, and they taught both of us.”

I filed this information away, feeling very small indeed. “I can’t believe it. You’ve done so much. You’ve _seen_ so much.”

He glanced at my face and must have realized how I was feeling, because he pulled me a little closer on the palanquin seat. “Enough about me. What about you? I have my uncle. Who means the most to you in your life?”

I felt all the tact of his change of subject, and was grateful for it. _Psychopathic sisters and lightning is enough to try and take in in one sitting — at the moment, dragons are completely overwhelming._ “Well,” I smiled, “I have my parents. I’m lucky. They’re always there if I need something. My mom and I argue sometimes, but we usually can work it out. They’re the reason I know how to weave, how to haggle, and why I’m good at playing cards.”

“Did they train you in it?”

“Train me?” I laughed at his serious expression. “I mean, I guess. We’ve played against each other for fun for years and it just sort of rubbed off on me.”

“I see,” he nodded. “You’ll have to show me how sometime. I wasn’t allowed to learn in my lessons at the palace.”

“I know, it’s a commoner’s game. But I’ll show you tonight, if you want,” I offered. “I want you to meet the _other_ two most important people in my life — my best friends, Yu and Takan. We’re all going out, and I’d like it if you came.”

His eyes were wide as he looked down at me. “You want me to meet your friends?”

“Of course I do. Will you come?”

He looked at me for another heartbeat, and then he smiled. The sun seemed to shine out of his golden eyes, and I could see how happy I’d made him. “Yes, I’d really like to meet them.”

“They’re both wonderful,” I gushed. “Yu is a merchant brat, like me, and Takan is a baker’s son.”

Zuko frowned. “Merchant brat? You’re not a brat.”

“Sure I am,” I shrugged. “That’s what everyone calls us — we’re used to hearing it. It’s okay. I’m not ashamed of where I come from. I was a refugee, and I grew up in the streets of this city, getting in and out of trouble all the time like the little ragamuffin I am. We’ve never had much. I’m not embarrassed by that.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear you say that. Knowing where you come from matters. But still,” he shrugged, “I grew up in the royal palace. I’ve known some bratty kids. I mean, _I_ was kind of a brat for a long time, my uncle can tell you. You’re definitely not one.”

“Whatever you say,” I grinned. “But either way, you’ll be having a little fun with some merchant brats tonight.” A thought that had been wavering in the back of my mind for a while suddenly became solid, and I grew serious. “Zuko, do you think that you could do something for me?”

‘“Name it,” he said at once. “I’ll do whatever I can.”

“Well,” I said slowly, “I don’t know much about war, or prisoners of war, or how all of that works. But my friend, Yu… her boyfriend has been missing ever since Ba Sing Se was freed. She’s heartbroken. Do you think…?”

He was nodding already. “If he’s in a Fire Nation prison, I’ll find him. There are still plenty of prisoners that haven’t stood trial yet, so it’s possible. We’re trying to get through all of them as quickly as possible, but,” his face was pained, “when there are this many people involved, it’s hard to know who’s an innocent prisoner of war and who actually deserves to be locked up. My father wasn’t particularly careful about making the distinction. What’s his name?”

“Moka. He’s an earthbender. He’s got long brown hair and brown eyes, and he has a bad scar here,” I ran my finger from my earlobe to my jaw. “He’s originally from the Dan-So village.”

“A bad scar, huh?” Zuko stroked his chin. “We should get along just fine, then.”

I looked at him sideways, grinning. “Don’t think I’ve heard you make a joke before.”

“Well, then I guess you’re just rubbing off on me,” he shrugged. “If he’s in the Fire Nation, I’ll find him, Jin. I promise.”

The palanquin swayed to a halt, and a knock came again on the frame. “We’re at customs for the Upper Ring, sir.”

Zuko nodded, pulling back the curtain, and I shrunk down beside him. There were a lot more people around us than I had realized, university students in their scholar’s robes and fine ladies with painted eyes waiting to show their passports. The Fire Lord’s palanquin had already attracted its fair share of attention, and when Zuko revealed us there was actually a hush of breath. I resisted the urge to squirm uncomfortably.

“How do you get used to all these people always staring at you?” I whispered. “It’s intimidating.”

“You’re just thinking about it the wrong way,” he whispered back. “They can’t intimidate you if you’re intimidating them.”

I gazed around doubtfully. More and more pairs of eyes were turning to me, and the ‘I don’t belong here’ feeling was getting stronger. To my relief we began to move again, this time drawing right up beside a stone booth flanked by guards. The woman inside poked her head out.

“Fire Lord Zuko,” she bowed respectfully. Then her eyes lit upon me. “Who is this you are bringing back with you?”

Zuko drew his arm from around me and sat up to his full height. “This woman is my special guest. We’re going to be giving the boutiques of Ba Sing Se’s Upper Ring plenty of business this afternoon. I hope you don’t mind.”

His voice was polite, his tone casual, but the air of command with which he said it left zero room for argument. He was bringing me, and that was final. Next to him, I tried to look as inoffensive as possible. _They can’t intimidate you. You’re intimidating them. Right._

The woman sniffed, looking uncertain. “Well, if the Fire Lord vouches for her…” she stamped a piece of paper twice, and handed it to one of the guards. “Welcome to the Upper Ring.”

As we moved through, Zuko sat back and closed the curtains, looking satisfied. “I told you it’d be okay.”

“You did,” I let out the breath I’d been holding. “You’ve learned how to joke, now let’s hope I can learn some of this royal poise stuff from you.”

He looked at me oddly for a moment, as if considering something, and then nodded. “You’ll get used to it.”

He had promised to give the Upper Ring plenty of business, and he followed through wholeheartedly. I adored shopping, usually such a rare luxury, and he seemed determined to indulge me; every small exclamation was noted, every admiration of a dress or a pair of slippers quickly fulfilled. There was some guilt on my part — he had already fixed my family’s roof, after all — but every time I protested at his generosity he would fix me with those earnest golden eyes, and I would melt. 

“You need some silks, too,” he decided, scanning the walls of the shop. “It’s still warm in the Fire Nation during winter.”

“Zuko,” I whispered, turning as the shopkeeper pinned up folds of brown linen around my feet, a tailoring needle between his teeth. “I don’t need more silk, you already got me that winter robe. Are you trying to burn through the entire Fire Nation treasury in one day?”

“If I was going to spend it on anything, it’d be this,” he declared. “What color, do you think? Brown, maybe? Or no, you’re getting the linen in brown…”

I blushed, glancing down at the shopkeeper. He was clearly trying not to smile.

“Actually, probably green would be best. It sets off your beautiful eyes.”

I didn’t think I could blush any hotter, but he kept proving me wrong. “Are you just trying to melt me into a Jin puddle, or what?”

“Maybe,” he murmured, still examining the racks. “Could I —?”

“Go right ahead, Fire Lord Zuko,” the shopkeeper mumbled around his mouthful of pins.

Zuko lifted a dress, a wrapper, and a tunic off the wall, all in a beautiful emerald. When I he turned, I made a face at him. He only made a face back.

Despite all my protests, we walked out with two new dresses, the brown linen and the green silk. I stammered my thanks out once and then fell silent, lost in the absolute novelty of having something — a couple of things — that were new and beautiful, and all my own. He, however, wasn’t deterred. He asked me about everything over the course of the afternoon, from my friends to my family to my market stall, and everything in between. I was gobsmacked by the sheer amount of gold he was spending, but he seemed only able to focus on one thing — me. That fact alone was enough to knock me off of my feet, linens and silks be forgotten.

I was learning about him, too, watching him as we made our way down the avenue of shops. It became clear to me that, dignified and kind though he was, light-heartedness was not something that came easy to the Fire Lord. He would smile through his questions for me, laugh when I teased him, and then frown as if someone had poked him in between the eyes when a shop attendant offered him a drink. His grumpiness made me want to giggle, but I stifled it. It was endearing in an exasperating sort of way.

“Thank you,” I whispered as we waited by the palanquin hours later, as Zuko’s guards loaded it down with my various boxes and bags. “I can’t believe it. I feel like a princess.”

“Anything for you,” he answered. When I smiled up at him, he smiled back and took my hand. The softness in his eyes took the breath right out of me, and before I knew it, the question that had been echoing throughout my head all day was coming out of my mouth.

“How can you do so much for me so willingly? You barely even know me.”

He considered this for a moment. It occurred to me how challenging I’d sounded only after the words were in the air, but he didn’t let go of my hand, which I took as a good sign. Instead, he turned his head to look out over the city, stretching infinitely below us out towards the mountains. It was getting late — the sun was already beginning to set. Soon, we would have to meet Yu and Takan.

“I’m choosing to trust my instincts,” he answered finally. “I told you already that I’ve made a lot of mistakes. Well, not trusting my instincts, that was a mistake I made for a really long time.”

I nodded, waiting for him to continue.

“I don’t know what it is about you,” he said softly, turning his gaze back to my face. “I know that we only went on that one date, and I wasn’t exactly charming. But afterwards, for some reason, you just kept coming up in my thoughts. For months. I’d be training, or talking to someone, and then I’d just randomly think of you. Or, I’d… you know… see the way people would act around me, and wonder if you would do it differently. Better.”

I blushed, my stomach giving a pleasant swoop. _He had been thinking of me the same way I had been thinking of him?_ “Really?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “All the time. And for some reason…” he exhaled, tangling our fingers together more closely. “I don’t know. I just feel… comfortable with you. Like I can tell you… things I wouldn’t tell other people.” He looked at me doubtfully. “Do I sound crazy?”

“No,” I shook my head. “Not at all. It’s a relief to hear you say it, actually.”

“Well, I’m glad. I just want to do nice things for you because… well, because I like you,” he shrugged, his cheeks pinking. “A lot. You saw something in me when I felt worthless, and I’ll never forget that. I felt like I deserved nothing, but you saw value in me, somehow. And because of that, I just want to give you what _you_ deserve.”

If my heart had swelled any more, I would have been levitating off the ground. “I like you too,” I whispered. “A lot. And I always knew that you were special.”

If anything, he blushed even darker. “Listen, Jin, there’s something we need to talk about. It’s nothing too bad,” he added hurriedly, catching sight of my face, “but it’s reality. I came here not knowing if I was going to find you, or if you were even still living in the city. I didn’t plan to be gone very long, and I can’t stay — my country needs me.”

Disappointment thudded into my stomach, cold and sudden. _This wasn’t goodbye already, was it? _“I understand.”

“I was hoping, though,” he continued carefully, watching me, “that you might want to come visit me in the next couple of months.”

Just as quickly as it had come, the disappointment vanished. “Visit you?” I exclaimed. “In the Fire Nation?”

“Yeah,” he said awkwardly. His hand was nervously tracing the emblem on his robes again. “I know it’s far, but I could secure a passage for you that wouldn’t be too bad — ”

“Of course I want to come!” I threw my arms around him, beaming. I couldn’t help it. “Zuko, that would be amazing, I’ve barely ever been out of the city! When do you think I could come? Next month? December?”

He blinked down at me, surprised, and then slowly began to smile, his arms going around me too. “I think that next month sounds wonderful.”

* * *

Back in the Lower Ring, violet twilight was hanging over the rooftops. The temperature was dropping by the hour, and I clung tight to Zuko — he was like a portable heater, taking a breath and cranking up his body heat whenever I shivered. As we got closer and closer to my street, though, a crease appeared on his forehead and he started fiddling with his robes again.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” he muttered. “I’m just… I’m kind of nervous to meet your friends.”

I blinked and resisted the urge to laugh, which I didn’t think he would appreciate. It _was_ adorably ridiculous, though — the Fire Lord, nervous to meet two Earth Kingdom peasants after a day out buying silks and linens. “Don’t be,” I reassured him, stroking the back of his hand. “They’ll like you.”

“Do they know that you’re bringing me?”

_Busted._ “Um, Yu does. Takan doesn’t know about all of this yet.”

His frown deepened slightly. “He’s in for a surprise, I guess.”

“Yeah,” I agreed. “A big one. I’m kind of nervous, too. We’re in this together.”

He gave my hand a quick squeeze, and I had a moment of foreboding. _How was Takan going to take this one? How was I going to explain?_ But there was nothing to do about it now. Any chance to break the news gently had slipped me by that morning, and now I was just going to have to ride it out. 

When we drew up to my block, Zuko knocked on the frame of the palanquin, which stopped at once.

“I think we should walk the rest of the way. If they’re waiting for us at your house, I don’t really want to ride up there in this,” he gestured around us. “It seems like a little too much. I can have your packages delivered tomorrow morning.”

I nodded in agreement, privately thinking that with the way he was dressed, it wouldn’t make a difference if we rode up to my house in a golden ostrich-horsedrawn carriage. I disembarked carefully, holding up the hem of my robe, and took his hand again. 

“You all are done for the day,” he was telling his head guard. “I can see my own way back to the house tonight. Go rest.”

The guard bowed, but I could see uncertainty in his face. “Are you sure, Lord Zuko? We would be happy to act as protection, if you need it for the evening — ”

“That’s alright. Thank you for your concern, but,” he patted the dual swords strapped to his back, “I think we’ll be okay.”

The man bowed deeply, and the guards turned, heading back up the street. Zuko turned to face me, spreading his arms.

“How do I look?”

Again, I almost laughed at the anxiety in his face. Instead, I gazed up at him, taking a moment to examine his features. His jet-black hair set off his golden emblem beautifully. His cat’s eyes flashed in the growing dark like twin lanterns. His scar, narrowing his eye and darkening the side of his face, made him look more dangerous than the dual broadswords.

“Have I ever told you,” I whispered, “that you’re the most handsome man I’ve ever seen?”

Even in the dark, I could see his blush.

“Stop that,” he whispered back, taking both of my hands in his own. “Don’t you know that lying to the Fire Lord is punishable by law?”

“I’m glad to know that I’m perfectly safe, then.”

He was quiet for a moment. And then — 

“So the scar. It… doesn’t bother you?”

This was uncharted territory for him. I could hear it in his voice and feel it in the tensing of his shoulders, and I measured my next words accordingly. 

“No,” I said slowly. “No, it doesn’t bother me. It’s a part of you, and I like you.”

“But how can I be the most handsome man you’ve ever seen?” he asked quietly, doubt in every syllable of his voice. “It’s so ugly. I’m pretty sure most men you see don’t have half of their face burned off.”

I was grateful that he couldn’t see me very well on this dark street corner of Ba Sing Se. If he had been able to look into my eyes in his moment of vulnerability, I was sure that I would have lost my heart to him for good. 

“No,” I agreed. “They don’t. But most men aren’t you. Your scar… it’s not ugly. It’s just skin. And it balances you, somehow. It’s strange to try and picture you without it. When I first met you, it was one of the things that made you stand out to me, made me curious about you. And without it… I don’t know. You’d almost be _too_ handsome. It makes you, you.”

He was silent for a moment. And then he wrapped me into his arms, pulling me flush against his body. I offered up no resistance, melting into his warmth and his rich smoky smell. The silk of his robe rubbed softly against my cheek.

“Thank you,” he whispered, tucking my head under his chin. I could feel his heart racing against me. “I’m glad that you think so.”

We stood that way for several long moments, his heart rate gradually slowing. _It must have taken real courage for him to ask me that._ When we parted, the air between us felt even clearer, somehow, like a hurdle had been conquered. 

“Okay,” he said, squaring his shoulders. “I’m ready. Let’s go.”

As we made our way down the street, though, it was _my_ heart’s turn to race. The only light now was coming from the lanterns on peoples’ front doorsteps, sliding over us and dimming as we moved away. I could see two figures under our awning, conversing with each other as we moved closer. They hadn’t noticed us yet. A hundred feet away. Eighty feet away. Sixty feet, forty feet, twenty feet…

I couldn’t stand it anymore. “Yu! Takan!”

They both looked up as we closed the remaining distance, and I watched as their eyes moved from me to Zuko and widened in unison. I chanced a glance at him myself. There he was, sweeping along next to me in his floor-length silk robe, with gold gleaming on him everywhere from his boots to his chest to his shoulders to his topknot. Broad-shouldered, lean-waisted, and concealing his nerves well under a regally composed expression, he looked royal in every sense of the word. I gulped. This was about to be weird.

Neither one of them spoke immediately as we drew up in front of them. Yu looked a little paler than usual but was smiling faintly, while Takan’s face was red and bore an expression that looked as though a badgermole had recently taken flight in front of him.

“Hi guys,” I cleared my throat. “This is Yu, and Takan. Guys, this is Zuko.”

Yu sank into a low bow. “I’m honored to meet you, Fire Lord Zuko.”

Zuko immediately looked uncomfortable, but I only had eyes for Takan. He had bent into a bow too, but not as deeply as Yu, and straightened much quicker. His eyes were wide, and he looked at me as if to say, _what in Agni’s name is going on?_

“Please,” Zuko said awkwardly, “just Zuko is fine.” He bowed back to both of them, much deeper, I was sure, than any Fire Lord was technically supposed to bow to Earth Kingdom peasants. “I’m glad to meet both of you, too.”

“I know this is a little strange,” I began, pretty awkwardly myself, “but I thought we could all go out together tonight, and show Zuko what the _real_ city of Ba Sing Se looks like.”

“I can’t wait,” Yu said, and I looked at her gratefully. “We’re going to have so much fun.”

Zuko’s eyes were traveling from me to Takan, who still hadn’t spoken. A crease appeared between his eyes. “I’m going to, uh, go change,” he muttered. “It wouldn’t be very smart to go out like this.”

And he ducked into the house, filling me with appreciation at being left alone with my friends and panic at being left alone with my friends.

“Okay,” Takan burst out as soon as the door had closed. “Can someone _please_ tell me what’s going on here?”

I bit my lip. “Takan, I’m sorry. I know that I should have told you this morning — ”

“So _you’re_ the girl everyone’s been talking about all day?” he gaped at me. “_You_ were with the _Fire Lord_ last night?”

I nodded reluctantly. “I just didn’t know how to tell you. I met him last year when he was staying in the city disguised as a refugee. I didn’t know who he was. He came back to look for me.” 

“What? How come the rest of us didn’t hear about this?” he crossed his arms, frowning. “I’m pretty sure I would have remembered if you had met the damn _Fire Lord._”

“Well he wasn’t the Fire Lord then,” I pointed out. I could feel heat creeping up my cheeks. “Back then, he was just a random boy that I met in a tea shop. I went on one date with him and never saw him again.”

At this, Takan scowled even more. “You went on _one date_ and he came all the way back to Ba Sing Se eight months later to look for you? That’s a little strange, don’t you think?”

“I don’t know,” I said defensively. “I don’t think it’s _that_ weird.” I would have explained how that one date had been enough to keep Zuko and me on each others’ minds for months, but somehow, that didn’t seem like the tactful thing to do.

“Well, it seems kind of suspicious to me. How can you be sure he’s being honest with you? What if he just wants something from you?”

“Oh, please, Takan.” Now it was my turn to cross my arms. “What could he possibly want from me that he couldn’t get somewhere else? What do _I_ have that _he_ needs? His poorest servants probably have twice as much money as I do.”

Takan shrugged. “I don’t know, Jin. He’s from the Fire Nation. Those people have a tendency to be kind of scheming.”

“Maybe they do,” I conceded. “But I trust him, Takan. I really do. I can tell he’s genuine. If you choose to not believe me or give him a chance, well, okay, then. I can’t do anything about that.” 

I should have been angry, but instead, a weird mixture of defiance and hope was burning in my stomach. Takan was looking incredulous, and more than a little irritated. And it was aimed at _me_. I couldn’t remember a time when he’d been angry with me before, and I found myself urging him on in my head. _Come on, Takan. Tell me that I was wrong. Tell me that I should have told you about it this morning, or last spring when you asked me if I’d met someone. Yell at me a little bit. I know I deserve it._

Instead, he breathed deeply, in and out, and his frown gradually unknotted. “Okay. I trust you, Jin.”

I blinked. “You do?”

“Yes,” he nodded. “I believe you, and I’ll try to give him a chance. I understand why you didn’t tell me before.”

In that moment, any possibility I had held onto of romance between us disintegrated on the evening breeze. He would not challenge me. He wouldn’t stand up on his own indignance. Oh, Takan. A steadfast friend, a good friend — but that was all. My heartbeat tapped out a bittersweet rhythm and I took his hand cautiously, apologetically. He didn’t pull away. 

“Takan, I really am sorry,” I muttered, and I meant it. “I didn’t mean to keep you in the dark. This has been just as insane for me as it is for you guys, and I haven’t been sure how to handle it. I hope that you can forgive me.”

He breathed in and out deeply again, and then gave me a small, rather sad smile, squeezing my fingers gently. “Of course I can forgive you, Jin. It’s just… really, really unexpected.”

“I know,” I breathed out, relieved. “It really is. But I hope you’ll end up friends.” I released him and turned to Yu. “What about you? You haven’t said much yet.”

She had been watching us with the intensity of a cat owl, but now she smiled. “Well, I like him already.”

I hugged her, more relief sweeping through me. “You guys are the best.”

I pulled away just as the door opened again, and Zuko came back out, meeting my eyes questioningly. I nodded, giving him a small smile. _Everything’s okay._ He spread his arms just as he had done for me fifteen minutes before. 

“So, how do I look?”

He certainly cut a very different figure. He had forgone his royal robes for a green tunic and pants, and his fine leather boots had been traded in for rough brown ones. His hair was down and unadorned, dark and shaggy and falling into his eyes. Only the swords remained, strapped to his back in the very same position. He no longer looked like the Fire Lord — he looked like the handsome seventeen-year-old boy that he was, the normal boy he had been when I’d met him. My stomach did a little flip, and I decided that I liked Normal Zuko just as much as the Fire Lord.

“Perfect,” Yu declared. “No one’s going to suspect a thing, unless they know that the Fire Lord has — um, well — ”

“A huge red burn on his face,” Zuko supplied reassuringly. “It’s okay. I hope not many people do, because it’s pretty hard to hide.”

Yu blushed and glanced at me abashedly as if to say, _damn, I walked right into that one._ “I’m sorry, Zuko, I didn’t mean to… I apologize. But I’m sure that no one is going to notice, most of us in the Lower Ring only knew what your name was when you were crowned. Information trickles down pretty slowly.”

Takan nodded in agreement. “I had no idea what the Fire Lord looked like until tonight. We’ll be fine.”

I eyed the two boys suspiciously. Takan wasn’t looking thrilled, but civil enough. Zuko’s expression was friendly, but that crease was still firmly between his eyes, and the air between them was just a little stiffer than the rest of us. I glanced at Yu, who was looking back at me. _Let’s hope they grow out of it._

“Shall we go?”

“Seven Lilies, here we come,” Yu grinned, and we set off down the street together.

It was strange indeed, walking towards our usual haunt with Zuko now a part of our group. There were four of us again, but still no Moka. _With any luck, that’ll change soon._ I glanced at the boy next to me. While Takan and Yu laughed and joked, he was looking around the alleys of the Lower Ring like he was seeing them for the first time, and taking in as much as he could. Crowds bustled and shouted around us, and street performers and con men were beginning to appear on the corners. Night had fallen in Ba Sing Se.

“Are you okay?” I murmured.

“Great,” he answered, and flashed me a smile. The crease on his forehead disappeared, and I was struck by just how wonderful it was to see him willingly in this world. In _my_ world.

“It’s going to be crowded tonight,” Takan warned us as we reached the front of the pub. “There was a fight at the amphitheater earlier, and I’m sure everyone’s probably come for a drink. You all ready?”

“Ready,” I declared. “Bring it on.”

Yu and Zuko nodded in agreement, and Takan pushed the gate of the courtyard open. Even out here in the cold, we could hear the dull roar of conversation and clinking from inside. There would be no playing for lychees on the cobblestones tonight. I glanced at Zuko again. He was looking composed but nervous, out of his element, and I felt a sudden wicked thrill of excitement. _I get to show him how we do it here in the city slums._

I grabbed his hand. “Come on. Let’s go!”

When I opened the door, the smell of roasting duck and wood fire hit us all, and we moved into the noise and warmth. Takan was right — it _was_ crowded, and the card tables were all occupied. Honey wine and beer were flowing from every tap, and loud, raucous groups of people were eating, drinking, and gambling. Zuko’s eyes widened, and I tried not to feel too gleeful. 

“Let’s get a table,” Takan shouted over the noise, and led the way towards the only open booth. “I need a drink!”

Zuko slid in next to me, Yu slid in next to Takan, and fifteen minutes and a pitcher later we were all a little more relaxed. 

“I kept telling him it was a different kind,” Yu was saying, “but he kept insisting you’re not supposed to eat kakis until they’re super soft.” She rolled her eyes. “Those old men never want to listen to me.”

“Ah, don’t worry about them,” Takan said, divvying up the contents of our second round into everyone’s cups. “They don’t give me the time of day, either. Always telling me the bread’s old, even if it just came out of the oven half an hour ago.”

“Well, he ended up buying five of them anyway, and reassured me he wouldn’t eat them until they got squishy,” Yu shrugged. “If he’s going to pay me a silver piece to let his fruit go bad, that’s not my problem.”

We all laughed, and I took a gulp of my beer, feeling pleasantly warm. It was apparent that Zuko wasn’t accustomed to drinking as much as the rest of us, but he was holding his own, not embarrassing me, and I was proud of him for that. We were holding hands under the table, and I could feel whenever he thought something was particularly funny, because a pulse of warmth would travel from his fingers straight up my arm. I was finding it hard not to continually stare at him, and I was starting to realize that Yu was right — I _did_ have it bad, and what was more, I didn’t care. Every time I looked at him and he looked back, golden eyes shining through his shaggy black bangs, my insides turned as soft as the silk he’d so stubbornly bought me. I couldn’t find a single feature that didn’t make me feel a little hot around the collar, and he hadn’t said or done a single thing to annoy me or make me doubt the way I was feeling. And the way I was feeling… well, it wasn’t a way I had ever felt about anyone before. 

“And he was yelling and yelling at me,” Yu was laughing, “and then my mother got home, and he took the blame.”

“He actually took the fall?” Takan took another swig of his beer, looking impressed. “Wow, I love my sister, but I don’t love her that much.”

“What can I say?” she said proudly. “My brother’s a saint. But I got into all kinds of trouble back in those days.”

“What do you mean, ‘back in those days’?” I teased. “Last time I checked, those days haven’t ended.”

“Hey, now,” she pointed a finger at me. “Do you really want a discussion about getting in trouble, Miss Mischief?”

I stuck out my tongue. “Ha, ha.”

“Miss Mischief, huh?” Zuko smirked. “I kinda like that.”

“No, you don’t,” I told him, while Yu and Takan laughed. “I was an angel as a child and I’m an angel now. I refuse to hear anything different.”

“Well, I definitely wasn’t,” Zuko snorted. “I used to get into all kinds of trouble, my uncle can tell you.”

“Like what?”

“Well, when I was little, I used to sneak into the palace kitchens,” he began, draining his glass. “They were right next to the nursery, so it wasn’t too far of a crawl. Anyway, one day I somehow got into the dumpling basket. The head cook found me on the floor with a dumpling in each hand. I couldn’t get up, but I wouldn’t let go of either one of my dumplings, so I just sat there and screamed until my mother ran in.”

“Stubborn,” Yu giggled, while Takan chuckled.

“It’s his _inner fire_,” I said, drawing the words out dramatically. “His drive for dumplings just can’t be stopped.”

“Hey,” Zuko shrugged, refilling his glass himself. “Dumplings are serious business.”

I smiled. _Way to take some teasing, Fire Lord._ After his story, Takan had one about falling into a flour sack as a kid, and then Yu told us about the time she’d swindled her way into a week of free rice at age nine. Soon, another pitcher had vanished from in front of us, and Takan was calling over a fourth. “You guys go ahead,” I hiccupped. “I still want to be able to play cards tonight, and I think I might have better luck winning if I can keep my eyes open.”

“A little showing off, eh?” Yu gave me a light kick funder the table. “Well, I can’t blame you. She’s good,” she told Zuko. “Won us all dinner, drinks, and enough to feed our families not too long ago.”

“Hey, now,” I protested, feeling the heat rise in my cheeks as they all looked at me, Zuko’s one eyebrow raised in interest. “Don’t go talking me up too much, what if I have a bad night?”

“Oh, I don’t think you will,” Yu said. “And even if you do, we won’t judge you, will we, boys?”

Takan nodded in agreement, but Zuko smirked. Despite my best efforts, I stared. Spirits, he was _gorgeous_, and that crooked little half-smile made him look like even more of a bad boy than usual. “I don’t know, Yu. I’ve heard an awful lot about these gambling skills. I think I need to see the proof for myself.”

My mouth dropped open. “Are you _doubting me?_” I punched him lightly in the shoulder, and he laughed, grabbing my wrist. “I’ll teach you to doubt me.”

“Game on,” he grinned, a challenge shining out of his eyes, and I would have been lying if I had said I wasn’t just a little bit turned on. I squirmed away, twisting my wrist out of his grasp, and planted my hands on my hips.

“Alright, then. That man over there is waiting for an opponent. What do we think?”

“Hmm,” Yu squinted at him. “Cheap tunic, but the belt is nice. Hammered copper, looks like.”

“Decent shoes, too,” Takan muttered. “Real leather. He’s got to have a little bit of money. I say go for it.”

“Agreed.”

The assessment was complete. I drained the remainder of my glass and stood. “Alright, then. Let’s go.”

We made our way over, Takan toting the pitcher, and I arranged myself cross-legged on the cushion across from my copper-belted opponent. “Good evening, uncle. Would you mind if we played?”

The man sized us up, eyes moving over me and my three companions, and grinned. “Not at all. Just as long as this is a solo effort from you, niece. No team players.”

“No,” I agreed, “definitely not.” Zuko settled himself on my right, Yu on my left, and Takan held all of our backs as well as the pitcher. Yu gave her quick consent to deal, and we began.

It was definitely different, playing with Zuko at my shoulder, but I tried my best to not be distracted. I could see him studying the hand closely, could feel his eyes when they fixed on my face. I got off to a slow start — the first three hands went to my opponent, four silver pieces coming out of my purse, and I could tell that he wasn’t regretting agreeing to play me. _Doesn’t matter._ I set my jaw. _Let him get comfortable, let him start taking those bigger risks. I’ll be waiting._

Yu dealt the cards for the fourth hand, and I saw his left eyebrow twitch. “Let’s up the stakes,” he grinned, and a moment later a gold piece was shining from between his fingers. “Are you game?”

“I’m game,” I answered, producing my own. “I call.”

I could feel Zuko’s eyes on me, and I resisted the urge to turn and wink at him. _Focus on what you’re doing, Jin. He gave you a challenge, are you really going to fall short?_ Yu dealt the flop, and the man across from me threw two gold coins into the pot. “I’ll raise two more gold pieces.”

_Confident, are we?_ I examined my cards. I had the beginnings of a flush, with the two and six of Drops in my hands, and the Fool and the eight on the table. “I’ll call, and raise another two.”

The stakes were rising, and I knew that I wasn’t being taken seriously. _Come on, Dekax. Please let me win this one._

Yu dealt the turn, and my opponent checked. Zuko’s eyes were trained steadily on him across the table, and for a moment I wondered how anyone, including myself, could focus with those eyes on them. _Maybe this is a team effort, after all._ I smiled to myself; I could visibly see him squirming under that golden gaze. Whether he knew it or not, Zuko was playing his part in this game.

The river was dealt, and my flush was complete. Ace of Drops. To my pleasure, I could feel Zuko heat up by a few degrees beside me — he knew I’d completed my hand. _He was learning!_ Another gold piece was thrown into the pot, and I called. No need to do any more.

“Hands down.”

My flush… and a straight. I grinned triumphantly, sweeping up the contents of our largest pot yet, and my opponent’s jaw dropped. 

“Well! Very lucky, that one.”

“Probably,” I conceded. “Let’s keep going.”

The tide had turned. I won the fifth, sixth, and seventh hands. By that time, a small crowd had gathered around our table — we were betting far more money than anyone else in the pub, and in the absence of any other entertainment, we were the most interesting thing going. I lost the eighth hand, but it didn’t matter. By that time he was playing timid, having lost so much already, and the damage had been done. It wasn’t long before he vacated the seat, and it was quickly filled by another man, eager to try and win some of my collected pots.

The crowd around our table grew until it felt as though everyone in the Seven Lilies was watching us, drinking and whistling and calling out random bits of advice. 

“Quit calling! Just bet, don’t show her your cards!”

“Check!”

But Dekax must have been with me, because after my flush hit the table, it was like I couldn’t lose. I won hand after hand, and the coins piled up beside me. When I glanced at Zuko, he was smiling.

“I guess you’re showing me the proof.”

“Don’t flatter yourself,” I whispered back. “I just like making money.”

The night had grown late, and I was playing the last hand of the evening against a dark-haired man with a clever face. He was good, there was no doubt, and I fell victim to his bluff once or twice. For the last hand, though, and for a small pile of silver and gold, I was determined not to lose. Four of Gusts, four of Stones, and the Lord of Flames sat between my fingers. On the table, the four of Drops and the three of Flames. If I could just get one more Lord…

“Last one,” Yu declared.

_Yes!_ Lord of Stones. Another three gold pieces were thrown into the pot, and I prayed it was only a bluff. I wouldn’t fold. Unless he had better than a full house… 

“Hands down.”

A full house and… three of a kind. 

Takan whooped. I smiled and bowed to my scowling opponent, collecting my coins. “Thank you for the game.”

My focus was now purposefully broken, and the sound around me turned back up, the dull roar of the busy pub filling my ears again. The crowd around us was chittering and arguing excitedly, and I even saw some money changing hands. _Gambling on gamblers._ The man across from me, for his part, said nothing, but simply gave the four of us a resentful once-over, and headed for the door. I was too light-headed with victory to care, but Zuko frowned.

“That’s not a very honorable way to accept defeat.”

“Defeat is defeat,” I shrugged, laughing. “He can keep his honor. I have his coinpurse.”

“Maybe.”

“Come on, Zuko,” I grabbed his hand, smiling up at him. “Tell me I didn’t let you down. Tell me you’re proud.”

His frown melted. “Of course I’m proud.” With that, he grabbed me around the waist, picking me up for a quick spin of victory. I couldn’t keep my giggles down, and before I knew it, he was laughing too, with his arms around me, looking like the most valuable Lord of Flames I could imagine. “You came through completely.”

“She always does,” Takan agreed. I was relieved to see a marked lack of annoyance at our show of affection — on the contrary, he wore only a small smile. _He just wants you to be happy._ My heart panged, and I wriggled out of Zuko’s arms to throw my own around Takan. 

“Thanks for having my back.”

“Always,” he promised, hugging me back. And I knew that he meant it.

We left the Seven Lilies quite as raucous as the crowd we were departing from, laughing and teasing and talking loudly. It was late — the streets were quieter now, darker, with many front porch lanterns having been snuffed out. 

“I hate dealing when you play,” Yu was complaining. “I always feel like I’m letting you down if I put down bad cards!”

“But you didn’t let me down tonight, did you?” I teased, shaking my coin purse. “So no need to feel guilty.”

“Please,” Takan rolled his eyes. “You couldn’t get bad cards if you tried. I don’t know how you could tell that first guy wasn’t bluffing. I thought he was for sure.”

“It was his eyebrow,” Zuko spoke up, and we all looked at him. “What?” he shrugged. “It was. It would twitch whenever he got good cards.”

“You’re right,” I said, appraising him with newfound appreciation. “I’m impressed. Maybe you _are_ worthy of being my pupil, after all.”

“Worthy?” Zuko placed his hand on his heart dramatically. “Is the Fire Lord not good enough for you? I’m hurt.”

I opened my mouth, vowing to reply as snarkily as I could, when a voice from the shadows beat me to it.

“Fire Lord? Now that’s very interesting…”

I blinked, and before I knew it, five men were melting out of the shadows. _Dekax!_ I cursed to myself, automatically shrinking against my friends, a cold shiver of fear trickling down my spine. _I didn’t know we were making a tradeoff!_

In an instant, all light-heartedness was gone from the air, and we were surrounded. Automatically, Takan, Yu, Zuko, and I went back-to-back. _Well, you wanted to show him how it’s done in the city slums,_ I thought to myself bitterly. _Why not end the evening by getting mugged?_

“Fire Lord, did you say, boy?” the man who had spoken before ran his thumb down the blade of the large, rusty knife in his hand, smiling at Zuko. “I thought you looked familiar. What are you doing down here in the Lower Ring, and in such poor company?”

Zuko looked at him as though he was something disgusting he’d found stuck to the sole of his royal boot. “What do you want?”

The man laughed. “As haughty as I’d expect! Well, you see, my brother lost quite a bit of money to your friend here tonight,” he nodded at me, eyes roving over my form in a way that I didn’t care for at all. “So we came down to the pub, and I couldn’t help noticing that almost everyone was losing quite a bit of money to her. I’d be very interested in examining that purse of yours further, girl.”

My heart sank. I _had_ earned quite the chunk of change, and I had been planning on giving it to Yu and Takan. But if it meant we all left with our ears still intact… 

I made a move to untie my sash, but Zuko stayed my hand. “Don’t, Jin. That money is yours.” He turned to the men around us, his eyes burning fiercely in a way I hadn’t seen before. My breath caught in my throat. “And you… you all need to leave us alone, if you know what’s good for you.”

I could feel Yu shaking slightly against me, and the stiffness of Takan’s back would have rivaled an iron poker. _Zuko, what are you doing?_

The man with the knife laughed, his peals of laughter echoing through the quiet street. “That money won’t be hers for very long. And you…” his eyes glittered. “So young. I had no idea. All the better. We’ll take the purse, _and_ take the Fire Lord for ransom. How does that sound?”

Zuko considered this for a moment, cocking his head to the side in a way that made his bangs flop into his eyes. “Not very good. You should rethink that.”  
And then all Agni broke loose.

Before I half-knew what was happening, Zuko had drawn his swords from his back and shot a spinning kick at the head of the leader, so quick my eyes almost couldn’t follow. The man crumpled, the knife clattering to the stones, and the other four leapt forward. Takan tensed, ready to help, but Zuko didn’t need it. He whirled and jumped, silent and deadly, knocking one man out with a hilt even as he ducked under the swing of another. I could only clutch my purse, speechless, wanting to help but not knowing how.

The knife was scooped up by the last conscious mugger, and Zuko leapt out of the way of its arc, swinging the flat of his left blade to knock the man in the back of the head. Instead of crumpling, he growled and swung again. This time, Zuko parried, the clang of their blades ringing through the alley. The man jabbed experimentally, but he was clearly outmatched. Stab, slash, swing — Zuko parried them all and then locked their hilts together, twisting until the knife fell to the ground. With his other hand, he swung at the side of his face. _THWACK!_ The flat of the blade made contact, hard, and the man fell.

The silence was ringing, and we gaped. He hadn’t needed so much as a spark.

“Hmph,” Zuko grumbled, sheathing his swords with a metallic scrape. “You’d think that if you wanted to take the Fire Lord for ransom, you’d come a little more prepared.”

“Um…” Yu exhaled shakily. “That was… kind of amazing?”

Zuko glanced at the three of us, as if just remembering that we were there. Takan was staring, still standing stock-still. Yu had sunk into a crouch, trying to regulate her breathing. And I was just hanging onto my purse, trying to process what I had just seen.

Zuko blushed.

“Uh… it was nothing,” he muttered, striding over and offering Yu his hand. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” she answered, taking it and rising to her feet. “I’m just… wow. Terrified, and… impressed?”

“Stop it, Yu,” I said, trying hard not to tremble. “You’re going to burn his cheeks right off.”

If anything, Zuko blushed darker. “That’s already been done.”

Yu let out something in between a choke and a laugh. “How can you joke about that right now?” She took a great gulp of air, flexing her fingers. “I’m fine.”

Turning, Zuko released her and wrapped an arm around me protectively. “How about you? Are you alright?”

The warmth of his skin burned right through my tunic, and only Takan watching could have kept me from giving into adrenaline and kissing him with reckless abandon. “Yeah. I’m okay. Thank you. For, uh, that.”

“No problem.” He turned his eyes to Takan hesitantly. “Alright?”

Takan nodded, looking impressed in spite of himself. “Just fine.”

We all stood in shocked silence for a moment. 

“Well,” Zuko said awkwardly, “I guess I should drag them out of the street.”

“Why bother?” Takan said in disgust. “Leave ‘em. They can move themselves when they wake up sometime tomorrow afternoon.”

“You know what?” Zuko prodded one of the men with the toe of his boot. “You’re right. Let’s go.”

And as we turned from the scene to head back home, with the warmth of Zuko’s hand burning just above my hip, a thought occurred to me. There had been no need to wonder what he was doing, after all. I had watched him, heard him as he told me to keep the money that was rightfully mine. I had listened when he refused to give in. I knew what Zuko had done.

He had struck back.


End file.
